This One's for Virginia

Ted and I were having a quiet Sunday morning when the phone rang.  It was my nearly 100-year-old mom and she was crying.  She was crying because she had just learned that our favorite nurse, Virginia, who is our "rock" in my mom's care...had just shared with my mom that she has breast cancer.  She is 38 years old, has a kindergartner and a 15 month old baby.  She just had her first round of chemo and will have surgery when the chemo is done.  So the first thing I wanted to do is to post this, so that all my prayer warriors can now become Virginia's army too!

Virginia asked me what to expect and here's what I shared:

• You are the appropriate focus of attention, but you will quickly realize that it's a family diagnosis...it will greatly affect your husband, your kids and those you love the most.  So remind people to care for them too.
• Keep working if you can, but at a reduced level.  It helps to have something else to focus on during treatment and a reason you have to get going on the days when you don't really feel like it.
• Be prepared for a long journey that extends 2-3 years beyond the end of your "official" treatment.  The end of treatment is really just the beginning of climbing your way back up the hill to feeling good again.
• Lower your standards and give yourself a break.  Get rid of anything that takes your time that doesn't really need to be done or obligations that others can fill for now.
• Party a lot....losing your hair?...make a party out of it.  Just finished another round of chemo? Time for a great glass of wine.  Celebrate all the steps along the way and mark them off as major victories to celebrate with those you love the most.
• Talk to people who've gone thru it for advice, but remember that your cancer is your own...there are many differences in treatment, but there are common coping strategies that survivors can help you with.

So Virginia...if you read this blog...this one's for you!  I will be thinking of and honoring you as I walk the Race for the Cure on April 16th!

Zumba-Schwumba

Ah the best laid plans.  I went to my first Zumba class a couple of weeks ago and had an absolute blast....loved it!  But the next day was not pretty...my old ACL-repaired left knee blew up..swollen and painful.

Once again, a little-talked-about sequelae of cancer treatment...you don't feel good, you aren't as active, you lose muscle strength that's hard to get back.  So after a quick trip to the knee surgeon, the net/net is that there's no Zumba in my immediate future.  I've got lots of cycling and "elliptical-ing" ahead plus some serious strength training.  Turns out my left leg is one third weaker than my right leg..YIKES!  He doesn't even want me to walk for exercise.

So it's me and Teddy at the local YMCA for the next few months!  Just another reminder that if you don't use it...ya lose it...and the losing is at a fast and furious rate at our age!  Where are you Jane Fonda?

22 Goals Now Become 23!

Forget the 22 goals...I've now added another!  Any of you who know me well will smile knowingly as you read this!  Today, Starbuck's announced a NEW even bigger sized drink...called the TRENTA!

It's a full 916 ml (that's about 30 ounces) of pure Starbuck's bliss!  And for you physiologists out there, you're right!

That's a full 16 ml more than the average human stomach can hold!  They say that a Trenta coffee will have more caffeine than two Red Bulls...YIKES!

But who's counting?  All I know is I wanna be first in line...my Venti Awake Hot Tea is now my Trenta Awake Hot Tea!

I'm pumped...literally!

Zumba Update

I don't want to brag...but I just blew past the beginner level on Zumba-XKinect so watch this girlfriends...the ole' Jules is now OPERATIN' on the Club Level!

I'm just sayin!

ZZZZZ-U-M-B-A!

Have you heard of Zumba?  The exercise style developed by a dancer in Columbia and brought to the U.S. in the late 90's that combines salsa, merengue dancing with exercise?

I first saw it when we were walking downtown this past summer and came upon about 200 people all doing a Zumba class together outside on the Indy Circle.  Right there on the sidewalk, I couldn't stop myself from starting to move my hips and feet to the beat and decided then and there, that when I felt better...ZUMBA was for me!

Welllll, I attended my first class at our local YMCA two days ago!  As I walked into this room of 20 and 30-somethings, I knew I was in trouble, but then I found "Lori" who looked about my age....and she came right over to me as if she was as worried as I felt!

All I can say is that I had a blast!  While the younger gals were I'm sure at heart rates in the 90-100's, I'm sure I was up above 180...but I didn't care.  I haven't tried to sway my hips like that in awhile which made me laugh right out loud.  But Lori and I did the best we could to keep up and laughed our way through it all!

One thing I know for sure...Zumba is now part of my exercise plan!  You should try it...great stress relief too!

It's Been a Long Time!

I know, I know...you have waited and waited and many of you have contacted me just to make sure I'm OK.

I am OK...just not myself yet.  My tests have all been great..which is a real praise.  I'm able to work, to travel, to play (tho' not as much as I'd like yet) and to keep at life at a fairly normal pace, tho' it tires me more than I'm used to...to do so.  I keep reminding myself how great I've got it...as I go in for my treatments every 3 months and see nearly everyone in the infusion center worse off than me.

Part of me wants to put this chapter behind me.  But the honest truth is...the whole cancer experience is not behind me.  I promised myself that this blog would reflect my true experience and that I would keep it up until I felt fully recovered and had accomplished all of my recovery goals.  As you'll see to the right of this blog...I'm not there yet!

So what's the story on that?  Well, if anyone had told me that treatment would knock me down as much as it did...if it had just been all about me, I would like to think I would have reconsidered.  But the truth is...I wanted more than anything to ease my kid's and Ted's minds, so I likely would have made the same decisions.

It's been so surprising really...all the stuff that goes wrong with your body as a result of treatment.  I can't pass by someone with a cold without getting it...although victory was mine as my granddaughter had a doozie at Christmas and for the first time...I didn't get it.  I had a major bout of flu in early November that knocked me out for 5 days in bed and another 3 at home, then another 3 at work when I likely shouldn't have been.  I've finally conquered the plantar fasciitis in both feet that plagued me from the very beginning.  Apparently the chemo kills rapidly reproducing cells, so it's not that the connective tissue in my feet was deficient, but rather the replacement tissue so needed to keep my feet renewed was inadequate resulting in literally having my soles look like bubble wrap...ouch!

The sequelae of this was LIMITED EXERCISE which means I'm still FAT! Losing the 15 pounds gained during treatment has proven the tallest challenge.  The picture here is of us hiking in Muir Woods which was fun but embarrassing as everyone did fine but had to wait on me to stop now and then to slow my heart rate.

Then's there's the thrush...which means a Candida infection in my mouth and throat which has steadily worsened since treatment.  My oncologist acted like it was no big deal and reluctantly prescribed a prescription mouth gargle...WORTHLESS!  Then I convinced another doc to prescribe me an oral med....nearly effective, but the moment I finished it...the thrush returned.  After researching it in the literature...it's a common sequelae of treatment and also the Zometa drug I'm still receiving and can cause major systemic symptoms...foggy cognitive processing, joint aches, inability to lose weight...you got it...many of the symptoms that still plague me.  So I'm going to try probiotics to try and restore the normal flora that eat these yeast critters!

I know I rarely whine...but I'm sick of it and I mean it! (a common phrase of two-year-olds and appropriate for this written tantrum!).  I can't put two weeks together where I really even feel OK.

I talk with like-treated women and they all tell me it took them 2-3 years to feel better from treatment.  I'm 18 months out.  I just wish my doc's would have prepared me better...it's frustrating to have your expectations not met, so I wouldn't have developed them had I known.  I'm determined to help correct this for other women.

So that's why I'm keeping the blog up.  I also think it's useful as a reminder that if you know someone who has gone through treatment...the end of treatment is not the end of their cancer experience...it's only the beginning point of the healing process.  I didn't at all get that before and feel badly that I wasn't as supportive as I should have been to good friends who have gone through cancer treatment.  So if you read this and are more aware, then it's worth it to me to keep writing.

I'm eating super healthy foods which is nothing new for me...sleeping 9-10 hours a night...continuing my weight training...starting aerobic exercise at the YMCA 2 blocks from our house...and enjoying life as much as I can.  Here's to feeling like myself again!

There's a Song in My Heart...and er...In Our House!

Teddy and I are having the coolest experience.  Nine days ago, we picked up Yoonshin Song from the airport and we are officially her "host parents" as she competes in the International Violin Competition here in Indianapolis.  This competition is one of the three most coveted and important violin competitions in the world.  Who knew right?  The winner of this competition has their career "set" so to speak, with a Carnegie Hall debut, a record contract, and the use of a multi-million Stradivarius violin for the next four years.

Yoonshin was born in South Korea but has lived here in NYC and Boston. studying for the last six years.  Thanks to our neighbors, Roxanne and Tom and Cindy and Matt, Yoonshin was well cared for as we traveled north of Seattle last weekend for a dear friend's wedding, so we missed her preliminary round performance.

Good news though...found out Wednesday night that she made the cut from 40 to 16 in the semi-final round!  We leave in just a few minutes for her semi-final performance and as I write this....beautiful notes are lilting through our condo!  As I was fixing us dinner last night...she was gracing our lives with the most beautiful music...and I said to Ted..."How cool is this?"  We go to sleep at night with this lullaby music in our ears.

We have learned so much about the world of top level violin competition...not the least of which is that our condo must be at 78 degrees for the violin to be "most happy" and Yoonshin's fingers to dance across the strings.  So Miss Hot Flash has had to find ways to stay cool!  Yoonshin is relentless...she eats, sleeps and plays the violin, stopping only briefly to talk with us at meals.  It's quite incredible to understand that she has been living this life since she was 3 or 4 years old.

So be sure to go to www.violin.org where you can watch Yoonshin's performance by clicking on "Hear 2010 Archived Performances" and where they will announce the six finalists Monday night at 11 pm!

Here's to you Yoonshin!  Our favorite to win for sure!

Brooke says it best today...

I just got home from the hospital, where my 99-year-old mom was admitted in the middle of the night Wed night.  For those of you who know me, that means WE'VE been in the hospital since then.  Thank the Lord my bro was  home this time as he has faithfully done "his shift" each morning, permitting me to get some extra sleep and yes, then there's that full time job at IU that needs my attention.  So I was looking for a moment of "feel great" time and knew just where to go...my daughter-in-law's blog at www.thethreeolives.com.

Brooke really says it best in her blog today called "Wishing it away"....difficult times for others makes you realize how quick and fleeting the most joyous of times really are...especially the great times spent with our spouses, kids and grandkids, but also our family and friends as well.

We've had a slew of bad news in the past week just like Brooke and Brian...my mom's illness, a girlfriend who just learned her father has lung cancer, another girlfriend who is struggling hard to juggle moving her mom into assisted living while caring for a granddaughter and her husband's loss of job in the same week, another friend who lost her favorite student really young, the death and funeral of someone we went to church with for years....and that's just been since Wednesday!  Makes a person not want to answer the phone or read their email!

Anyhoo, if you want to really feel great...go read and gaze at the wonderful pictures on Brooke's blog...she says it best!

Another Milestone

Yesterday was a full day for me at Simon Cancer Center, but one filled with great news:

• Mammogram was normal
• Blood work sees nearly all parameters now normalized--white count still a bit low
• I've lost 7 of the 15 lbs I gained last year due to treatment
• My dear surgeon says I don't ever need to see him again...I'll miss him, but what great news
• My Zometa treatment went well with only one needle stick this time, so I actually left without a bruised up arm

It's funny that I looked back at my goal list and thought I was near normal energy last August...how silly of me! I think I had just forgotten what feeling good really felt like. I've had a significant upsurge in energy the last six weeks or so, so I'm beginning to see my old self on the horizon and believe that I may once again get back to her!

What I Did on My Summer Vacation!

Hey there everybody--are you still out there? I feel as though I don't deserve any blog followers anymore as I've let you down...it's been a long, hot, busy summer and I guess the heat sapped my energy for blog writing. Anyhoo, I'm back and anxious to catch you all up on what's been happenin'!

So for starters, no the kitchen's not done yet...can you believe it? We still have trim that's not up, but otherwise we're really enjoying our new cookin' digs...so will post when all is finally done there.

We've had a really blessed summer, although with a very rocky start. I feel like I lost May/June completely as my mother was hospitalized again exactly a month from the first time...this time they did a procedure that has her back in business, though she was shaky at first, returning to the ER a week after her second admission. So needless to say, from May 14th until June 25th or so, I was all caretaker!

The real summer fun started with all our kids and their ladies coming to Indy for Ted's 60th BD and Evan's wedding. It was a glorious weekend filled with partying and great fun. Every weekend in July was packed...Home Group at our house, then our first Camp Mimi with Parker and Finley with us for 4 days, then to northern Indiana for a 60th BD party for Joey intertwined with my college roomie weekend, then back to Stiver's to co-host a shower for their daughter Katie and her hubby to be-Thaddeus, then a drive to a park outside Chicago for my great niece's wedding. The final weekend in July found us hosting both my sisters and their hubbies with concurrent visits from 3 of their kids at some point throughout the weekend. Such fun!

This month finds us just as busy with Game Night and Ted's family reunion last weekend, a drive to St. Louis for the twin's 3rd BD party this weekend and co-hosting our neighborhood's annual picnic next weekend.

Oh yeah...then there was work. I had 3 grants funded...one to co-direct IU's new practice doctoral program for nurses, one to upgrade my health informatics course with Podcasting, and another to work with our large hospital system here called Clarian to help them enhance their employee wellness efforts. Needless to say, I'm sliding into the start of classes on Aug 23rd just barely ready, but it will all get done.

The biggest news of our summer all has to do with our kids/grandkids...Kyle has moved to Toronto (yep, as in Canada!) to follow his love, Casey who will start her plastics/hand surgery practice on Sept 7th. Joel and Jo are doing great and Joel was just given a top leadership award by Google while Jo is getting her program of research really on its way at UCSF. Brian & Brooke continue to thrive with their 3 under 3 (at least until this weekend) and we thrill at the chance to spend time with them all. Harrison is 7 months old now and doing so well..he continues to be such a perfect baby in every way...such a joy! Teddy keeps busy helping us all in various ways and continues to see his days pass quickly.

So that's what I did on my summer vacation. No days lying in a hammock for me!

Workers, workers, workers

Man oh man...the condo is buzzin' today! We have a man cleaning and disinfecting all our heating ducts and air returns, an electrician installing all the final lighting in our kitchen and somehow, Pauline is here to try and clean as much as she can in preparation for having the kids come in this weekend.

I realized once again, just how old I am, after cleaning every new cabinet and washing/putting away all our kitchen goods over the weekend.

Ted and I just keep telling ourselves it will be worth it! The kitchen redo should be about finished by this Friday. I promise to post pic's of the new kitchen when it's done. I'd write more, but I've got too much to do today!

Crazy life!

My friend Geri wrote me today really worried as I haven't posted in so long. She's right in that something is usually up when I fall way behind in my postings! So here's the scoop this time. The end of my semester was crazy busy...a tough semester with some struggling students in both my classes. Turned out the last week of the semester coincided with Joel and Jo's wedding, so we were off to San Fran from April 28th-May 3rd. To say the wedding and entire weekend were just incredible is an understatement, but suffice it to say that the entire experience was amazing and wonderful! I promise to post some pic's when we receive them.

I returned home to a boatload of papers to grade amidst all the end of semester stuff that faculty need to do. Teddy, on the other hand, also had his plate full as a crew arrived to completely gut our kitchen the second day back from the wedding. So while he handled unloading our entire kitchen contents into our living/dining room and covering all with plastic, I finished up my teaching.

The next few days were consumed with meetings at work, a grad party for a neighbor, our home group night, Mother's Day, another Zometa infusion for me and my mom's 99th birthday last Thursday. This past Friday, the 14th, my mom became profoundly ill and we rushed her to the hospital. Thankfully, though 'we' are still hospitalized, she has once again found a way to overcome all odds and is on the mend. So 'we' will likely be released back to her assisted living facility tomorrow morning. My niece Becky and sis Marilyn have come to help out!

If the planets align, we'll stay with her a couple more days, my kitchen will be done by the end of the week and I'll be able to move the dishes, food et al from their various places on the floor, couches and tables back into our new kitchen this weekend! Teddy will be in New Orleans all weekend for Evan's bachelor party (I didn't think old guys got to be invited!), so it will just be me and Wrigs hanging out and catching up with life a bit!

Launching a Couple!

We had a big weekend five days ago. Joel and Jo flew in from San Fran and Jo's sister, Shiao, flew in from NYC and Brooke brought Harrison and Parker in from St. Louis. That's the starter.

We provided our condo to my college roomies, the TFWCers, to host a shower for Jo on Saturday afternoon with 12 attending, then we regrouped and provided our condo for my sis-in-law Barb and Nancy and my good friend Marilyn to host a Meek/Lukens family and friends shower on Sunday with 30 attending.

The TFWC shower was Jo's first "exposure" to my crazy college girlfriends including an induction ceremony for both. As you can see, it was loads of fun and we would all love to hear how Jo and Shiao describe that whole experience to their family and friends (ha!)

Then, Jo (once again) and Shiao (for the first time) got to share great fun and conversation with our family and friends.

The entire weekend, despite all the activity, I kept thinking about my bridal showers and all that has since happened to Ted and me in the 36 years. Joel and Jo have a lot ahead of them...joys, tears, craziness, low times and great times. So it was so good to help launch this wonderful couple!

Being reminded of my blessings

As soon as we got back from Cabo and I made it back into work the next day, I was reminded of my blessings. I was stopped by a faculty colleague who has just completed her chemo. She stopped me to ask what to expect from her radiation treatments, starting this week actually.

We stood there for a few minutes, with me asking her questions and then relaying as many tips as I could to help her prepare for radiation and all that comes with it.

She especially appreciated me saying that she needs to just prepare herself for the fact that when treatment is officially 'over', it's not at all over. And how she will still be feeling the effects for 12-18 months post treatment. The look on her face was like mine now nearly a year ago...I heard that, but I didn't really believe it. I was so anxious to get my life back to normal, that I was in a kind of denial about the after-treatment stuff. So it hit me hard when I didn't bounce right back to normal following treatment.

It's good that I can help this colleague and also another colleague, both 6-9 months behind me with their cancer journeys. Hopefully they'll be helped by my experience and will be more realistic about how long it takes to recover.

Fun in the Sun!

Man oh man, what a difference a year makes! Like this weekend, we took off a year ago to be with dear friends, sharing their condo timeshare in Cabo, New Mexico! Like this weekend, we absolutely pampered ourselves silly, laughed loudly all day long, ate great food, swam in the pool, soaked in the hot tubs and permitted ourselves a refreshing mojito even in the afternoon!

Unlike last year, I have HAIR, I don't have to completely stay out of the sun due to the chemo and I can actually awaken early to help secure our 'spot' on the beach!

It will be a sweet, sweet time this year!

Social Networking and All That Jazz

Social networking sounds fun to me...I just don't have the time to do it! I see Ted laughing and truly enjoying his 'facebooking' during the day. I've even had to remind him to put down the laptop lid while we're eating dinner (perhaps he's due for an intervention?)!

So I had tacitly decided that social networking was not gonna happen for me.

But then, there's our son Joel. So when he sent us the Google launch info regarding "Buzz", Google's entree into facebook-land, I had to be supportive right?

So I entered the world of 'buzzin' today. It's so cool because Buzz is right inside your Gmail, so you don't have to go to a separate URL to see what's happenin' out there. I must admit that every time a little number appeared in parentheses next to my Buzz logo, I couldn't wait to see what someone had commented. You don't yet have a Gmail account...what's wrong with you?? Let's get with it people! I should talk right?

I'm hooked.

Good Report Today

It was a big day. Up at 6:45, out at 7:40a for a quick run to Starbuck's for a Venti Awake hot tea to sustain me through the morning, mammy's gramed at 8a, bone density test at 9a, quick check-in with research clinical trial nurse at 10:30a, exam and nice chat with surgeon Dr. Goulet at 11a, check-in with oncology nurse and exam at 11:30a, then labs drawn around noon and a 45-min wait for the OK to proceed, then Zometa from 1-4p.

So the net/net out of all that was I'm FINE! Only thing we found out was that I have osteopenia (the first hint of less bone density). So I can't imagine what my bones must have looked before I had 8 Zometa bone-strengthening treatments! Turns out this participation in a clinical trial thing might just have some side benefits in addition to preventing cancer recurrence in my bones!

Cool beans! Feels good to be getting through my time of highest recurrence risk.

Off to bed now...

Pausing

The picture says it all. I can't believe that I haven't posted for two weeks. School has been crazy busy. In addition to my teaching load, starting one grant and submitting another have added to my work hours. Ted and I escaped last weekend to FL for a quick visit with my wonderful sis and bro-in-law. We had friends in all this weekend because we gave a baby shower here for a dear friend's daughter-in-law on Saturday. I leave Wed-Sat for a nursing conference with the deans in FL again.

But amidst it all, this picture of our new Harrison reminds me of what truly centers me....our three amazing grandchildren, our sons and beautifully-spirited daughters-in-law, Teddy, our extended families and wide circle of friends and most core to my heart....my Lord above. I'm totally centered on them...they are my life, my reason for being...all the rest is peripheral.

Doing What We Can Do

Friday night was absolutely freezing outside here in Indy, so Ted and I decided to bunk-in for a big movie night. We watched "Food Incorporated" and I was deeply affected by it. The movie basically chronicles how we've gone from locally-grown food provided by our regional farmers to 3-5 large companies controlling and mass-producing our food and holding farmers hostage to a "my-way-or-the-highway" process.

Notice how many food recalls we've had lately? Watch this movie and you'll absolutely understand why and how this happens. I swear I'll never buy a package of hamburger again, much less trust eating one from a fast food chain.

Not only did the movie reveal huge quality and safety issues with our food, but it also provided a deeply troubling look at the way these companies abuse animals in how they're raised and killed, but also how they knowingly hire and badly-treat employees who are not able or willing to speak up regarding frightening working conditions.

I told Ted that if I was 25-years-old again, I would take this on as my mission in life! So what to do as a 56-year-old who has a full plate and a lot less energy? First of all, order/download this movie! The producer provides an entire list of action items at the end. Second, if you can...buy organic produce, preferably from local farmer's markets. My friend Ginny has done this forever! I admit that it's a new habit I need to start as I live a block from a weekly farmer's market...no excuses for moi'. Also try and buy your meat/poultry locally. Again, I did this religiously when my kids were small as I was scared to death about feeding them meat/chicken with growth hormone, now banned. But I fell out of the habit as I went back to work.

Most importantly and I'll tell you that this is a habit I've had for years...play a game as you're shopping at your local grocery, to NOT go into any aisle (cleaning and laundry supply exceptions allowed). Rather, shop the perimeter of the store...produce, then meat, bread and dairy...then out the door. You'll be healthier for it.

I can't stand the thought that the scenes I saw in this movie happen daily...the abused animals and employees and our precious farmers. I am vowing to do my part to change my consumer behavior. In response to its customers, even Walmart is looking at and changing some of the products it buys. So the most important way we can change the industry...as customers, is to change the way we buy. In what we demand by our buying behaviors, we can make this change happen!

Stay Warm Today!

Is there anything good about this time of year in Indiana? It's perpetually gray. It's perpetually dark. We hardly see the sun. We slip and slide on the roads and sidewalks. This is a picture of just east of St. Louis on Christmas Day when the roads were so slick that we encountered multiple car accidents every mile and they finally closed the interstate, forcing us to get to Brian & Brooke's on the city streets (thank you Garmin!). Oh, the cold and wind...brrrrr!

So here's my list of what's good about all this cold....

• Cuddling with Teddy to stay warm
• Eating hot stew, hot soup, hot whatever
• Wearing bulky warm sweaters
• Wearing my Ugg boots which are so comfy
• Having nightly fires in our fireplace
• Doing what I call 'hunkering down' at home...I do lots of catching up in the winter because I just want to be outside in the summer

So stay warm everyone and think about your own list of 'what's good' about these cold days!