Saying Goodbye to ChemoLand!

I know you all are sharing my joy as we collectively say "asta la vista baby" to ChemoLand!! Not that it didn't want to give me a last kick in the butt. For some reason, this time was nearly as uncomfortable as the first with some added throwing up just for fun (OK, put down your breakfast as you read this)!!

But I'm feeling much better today...will likely lay low at home one more day, but then in Stanley Tucci's words..."Gird your loins...she's back!"

Sending Virtual Cherry Pie!

When Ted and I were young and life threw us a curve ball, we always stayed up and had cherry pie ala'mode. Most of these times were when the kids were really, really sick and it made us "sick with worry" about them. When we were up with them with croup, when Joel had a spinal tap and we were waiting on blood culture results, when Joel had orbital cellulitis. When Kyle and Brian were miserable with ear infections. Cherry pie with vanilla ice cream at 4AM got us through.

So Brian called us last night. He and Brooke had one of those days yesterday. Parker and Finley had a persistent two week duration cough, so while Brian was at work and on call last night, Brooke walked quite innocently into the pediatrician to get them checked out. This led to what some would say is medical precaution...or as it turned out a bit of over-diligence, but better to be safe I guess. Alone with the twins, Brooke was sent to the hospital for lots of delay time in the waiting room trying to keep P&F happy, then diagnostic chest Xrays...when she was in the room with Parker, Finley was screaming...when she was out with Finley, Parker was losin' it. She arrived home very late, with two very OK babies with a diagnosis of pertussis (croup for us old folks), while Brian could only offer words of encouragement as he was admitting his 8th patient of the day to ICU anticipating an entire night on call without sleep.

So all you commenters out there...let's fill up that comment box today with "cherry pie ala'mode" for Brooke and Brian. Sure wish I could drive that cherry pie over to you today B&B...love you guys! MiMi

What Cancer Cannot Do!

I was checking out yesterday from my doc appointment and this poem was posted on the desk of the neat lady who did my check-out. I was able to find it on the Internet and wanted to post, as the words so reflect how I'm choosing to ride through this journey and in fact, through my life.

Cancer is so limited ...
It cannot cripple love,
It cannot shatter hope,
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot eat away at peace,
It cannot destroy confidence,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot shut out memories,
It cannot invade the soul,
it cannot reduce eternal life,
It cannot quench the spirit,
It cannot lessen the power
of the resurrection. Anonymous

I am WELL because I have abundant blessings of love, relentless hope and faith, peace in my heart, confidence yet humility and awe at the amazing gifts of people around me, abundant and pouring-over-me friendships, happy happy memories, a soul at peace with myself and my Lord, and the promise of eternal life, an ever-so positive spirit, and most importantly, the promise of my Christ's resurrection that by His grace and forgiveness, there isn't anything that can swallow me if I lean on Him!

Nuf' said!

Last Chemo is DONE!

Just a quick post to let you all know that chemo went really well this morning. No problems this time finding a vein and I actually finished an hour early. So though Sat/Sun/Mon will be 'down days', somehow that's OK as I know it's my last time to go through that.

I saw my oncologist before the chemo and was informed that once radiation is over, they won't do a mammogram for 3-4 months to let me heal a bit before squishing me while still tender from the radiation. They do mammo's twice a year for 3 years. I'll also be followed more closely because I'm in the Zometa clinical trial, so I'll be tested and see my oncologist every 3 months during that entire 3 years. One of the nice benefits of being in the trial I suppose is that you're watched more closely.

Also, thanks so much for the extra postings to my last blog!! Appreciate hearing from you and continuing to receive your love and support through this long journey. That's hard to sustain...I have often not been very good at that...so I guess I'm amazed even more when you continue to reach out despite the fact that it's now been nearly four months! So thank you again to all of you, who touch my life in various ways, for being so amazingly thoughtful and loving. I cherish every touch!

Comment-less!

OK sports fans! I know you're hitting my blog because I can see the number of hits on Google Analytics (Oh yes, the world analyzes everything and being the data geek that I am, I love it!). The trouble is...that no one is commenting! What's the deal Ralph? Not only do I miss your comments, but people everywhere are wondering where you are Bert? People love your comments Bert...so have you been on vacation? I hope you're not sick.

But Bert can't pick up the slack for all of you...so let's get those comments goin'!!

P.S. For all my technologically-compromised friends and family members, all you have to do to comment, is to click on the "0 comments" link at the bottom of my blog posting, which then opens up a window, to which you write your comment in the open box under "Leave Your Comment", then choose an identity, then click on "Publish Comment". That's all there is to it!

If I be a'posting, y'all had better be a'commenting!

A Family That Plays Together Stays Together

It's official...our most fervent practical prayer has been answered. All of us can go to Tucson! We can't believe it. Kyle, Joel, Jo, Brian and Brooke (yes, her job with the twins is BIG) have such busy, BIG jobs. So that they all can actually make this time together work..that we could all get our schedules in sync...is a precious miracle! Our last worry was that Brian's April residency rotation leader would not let him off, since he really doesn't have any more vacation time coming...but he said yes!!

So here's the other miracle. A dear friend and beautiful woman named Alisa Wright, who also has a BIG job, as CEO of BioConvergence in Bloomington, IN...has insisted that we stay at her vacation home in Tucson, complete with pool and hot tub on the golf course with our family. Do you believe that? I laughed with our friends Kurt & Joey (who treated us to our Cabo vaca) when I said..."this cancer gig has its benefits"!!

So we head for some sun and fun April 22nd-27th to squeak this in before I start radiation on April 28th. We absolutely can't wait!

Our Nesting Pair of Doves

The dove. When Christ comes up from the water of his baptism, the Holy Spirit, in the form of a dove, comes down upon him and remains with him. (Matthew 3:16) It is said, that if a dove nests at your house, it is a house filled with great love, which being Christians, we believe comes more fully, as we are open to and blessed by the Holy Spirit!

Our male and female doves have arrived. These two make a nest in our back deck window box every spring. Ted and I find it especially comforting to remember that of all the homes they could have picked...ours is the one they chose and keep coming back to every spring.

The dove on our deck table today was fun, as Ted has not yet put the liners and dirt in our window boxes, so they keep looking through our kitchen patio door as if to say..."C'mon guys, get a move on...we have a nest to build"!!

What's Next!

I just got back from my first meeting with Dr. Jane Andrews, who is my radiation oncologist. I liked her a lot as she gave me all my treatment options for this phase along with the pros/cons of each choice. I've decided to pursue the "Canadian" radiation regimen, so will go Mon-Fri for 4 weeks starting April 28th. So my last treatment will be Friday, May 22nd...just in time to celebrate the Indy 500 that weekend! I go for measurements/markings on April 20th, so nothing will interfere with our April 22nd-27th trip to Tucson! YEAH...gettin' there!

The Healing Power of Friends

I'm still blown away. As most of you know, I love and adore my TFWC friends. For those of you who wonder what TFWC stands for...it's a secret that will never be told, so forget about trying to get that out of any of us! Anyhoo, all eight of us lived in Rogers Hall at Ball State together and let's just say we completely bonded over the fun, perils, thrills and heartbreaks of college life...living, learning and well, just helping each other grow up...OK, so that part didn't quite happen!!

At first we got together for our own wedding showers and weddings, followed by lots of baby showers and babies, then play dates and birthday parties for our kids, and now weddings for our kids and showers for our grandbabies. So as you can see, you can pretty much name the triumph or tragedy...one of us has had it happen, but we've been through all life has brought to each of us...together. In addition, for 33 years, we've been gathering for a weekend every summer and since our kids have grown and left home leaving a little more time for Mom, we've added a winter retreat at my house too.

But this weekend they said was just for me. So it all started Saturday afternoon at our house, as all came from far and wide....and the best part...our dear Susan flew in from Denver to surprise me!! I'm still speechless! Last night was filled with laughter, lots of healing hugs, all the junk food you could ever want...and a very special surprise gift. My jewelry collection consists of 2 pairs of earrings, so as I was getting my PJ's on, I came back downstairs to see literally at least 20 pairs of gorgeous hoop earrings to wear with my scarves...all given from their own collections with some new ones sprinkled in. They also gave me a special pink ribbon bracelet/matching earrings that I will wear each day until my treatment is completely over, remembering the love that went into this very special weekend of love in my life!

We ended the weekend with a group hug filled with loving words and prayers that will last in my memory forever. So thank you, thank you (pictured above left to right) Moni, Gracia, Geri, Munch and Susan plus Connie W (came too, but left pre-picture) and Connie B (protecting me from her flu virus, so called instead). You are the best forever girlfriends--what a lucky girl I am to have you all in my life! TFWC forever!

Top Ten Reasons It's Fun to be a Mexican Hairless

#10. No nose hair...so no chance for those nasty buggers to form!
# 9. My shower drain runs clean and clear.
# 8. I don't have to carry a brush in my purse.
# 7. When the March winds blow, no hair will blow into my eyes. Roll those car windows down!
# 6. I no longer have to make a trip to the mall to have my eyebrows arched.
# 5. I no longer have to check to see if my mascara is smeared under my eyes.
# 4. I save a good 20 minutes getting ready in the morning.
# 3. I no longer release chrolo flora carbonates into the air from using hairspray.
# 2. Those hairy European women don't know what they're missing...smooth legs and underarms...with no effort...nice!

And the number one reason it's fun to be hairless is...
#1. Complete strangers do very kind things when they see my scarf-covered head. I haven't received that kind of treatment since I was pregnant, which honey...was a loonnng time ago!

Coming Out of the Gate!

Hi all: This will be short and sweet as I'm not quite back to normal yet, but know that many are wondering how I'm doing post-third chemo round. This time, either I'm getting used to it, or my strategies are working better. I felt the crummiest Sunday afternoon and yesterday all day, but today, unlike last time, I'm at least able to get up a bit. I've dressed, caught up on email and thank you's, read a student's thesis in preparation for her defense tomorrow morning and had multiple phone conversations related to IU stuff. Last time, I was down, down all day Tuesday. So we like, like, like this improvement! My right arm still looks like a battlefield...they really had trouble finding a vein this time, so I've got 4 large bruises and feel compelled to hide my arm, lest people think I've been in a fight and lost!

Also wanted to share the great praise that my job at IU was finalized today! In these crazy economic times, I'm so very thankful that my Associate Professor role at IU has now been finalized and will provide me an opportunity to not only contribute greatly to the students and the school over the coming years, but also to provide Ted and me with all the benefits therein. All my colleagues at the school have been absolutely amazing in their support of my new role there, despite my lack of ability to be fully operational right now, so it's even more of a blessing. So many, many prayers of thanks are going heaven-ward for this news today. Go IU!

Do I Choose the Scrap Heap or Gold?

Once again, my devotion today was spot on. The topic tied perfectly to the challenges of this week and to the wonderful reminders sent by many of you (thank you Bert, Connie M, Julie B, Jim K, Mike A and Connie F) in the last three days!

So in my devotion, a blacksmith is asked what he fears the most and he replies "I fear that I will be thrown in the scrap heap". When asked what he means by that, he replies...that when he is tempering a piece of steel, first he heats it, then he hammers it, then he plunges it into a bucket of cold water. Very soon, he sees whether the block of steel will take the tempering or go to pieces in the process. If it's discovered after a couple of temperings, that the block is not going to allow itself to be tempered, it is thrown on the scrap heap to be sold for a cent per pound to the junkman.

So the Lord is testing Ted and I and our kids too! We can choose to be tempered by the heat and hammering and cold water bath, or we can prove not to be a good fit for the Lord's tempering process and find ourselves thrown to the scrap heap with all the missed opportunity to be molded into something with the beauty of gold!

I made a choice at 30 years of age, to be tempered rather than to become part of the junk pile of this world. That process continues, but I have many, many examples of the blessings that abound during and after a time of tempering has come. So my advice to all those reading this...get quiet, get in a truly meaningful relationship with God, however that is defined for you, and rejoice in the times of tempering. They are times of rich reward.

Do You Know That Feeling?

Do you know that feeling? There's something you need to do...but you just don't want to. Even the thought of knowing what you need to do brings a bad feeling in your gut, yet you know you must face it and do it anyway. Well, Ted and I are both having one of those weeks for different reasons.

For Ted, the tough economy combined with the ever-changing and challenging world of graphic technology, make life difficult for his customers, thereby making life challenging for him. For me, it's yet another round of much-needed chemotherapy, and knowing that behind it, I'll likely have another week of non-productivity, which of course is very frustrating to this "must keep my to-do list done" person!!

So I'm heads down Monday through Wednesday trying to get papers graded and reading done for my teaching job in addition to some catch-up on consulting work. Ted is working hard to help his customers solve their problems and meet their needs with his ever-dedicated focus to bringing them the best expertise and effort he can bring.

But most importantly, we're both girded by faith...that our hardship brings a greater leaning on our God of love and comfort, that our heartfelt efforts will be recognized by those we seek to serve, and that our love and support of each other will carry us someday to an easier time.