Saturday, January 31, 2009

Party Central Reporting In!!









Well, I gotta tell ya...the Hair Ball was all we expected and MORE! I've posted pictures of the various parts of the evening and will try and describe for you here, how wonderful the party was in every way. There were about 26 of us in attendance with people arriving from 6-7p wearing hilarious hats (those are some of my Ball State roomies above) to be greeted with lots of wine, lots of great food, candles lit, and pink flowers everywhere. All signed my journal with a note and then signed my Super Bowl, Tampa Bay T-Shirt (pictured above) given to me by my Tampa-based sister Carolyn, to forever commemorate that the Hair Ball was Super Bowl weekend, that she was here, and that all who came signed this shirt! Greg, my stylist, was also placing my hair in "locks" (nice look huh?) as people were arriving.

Next the fun of donating to Susan G Komen in receipt for a lock of my hair began... with some stepping right up to bat (see Gracia below finding her lock) and others preferring to have Greg cut a lock for them. In all, we raised $545 (!!!!!) for those locks of hair and even more, as I've heard from several of you, that you've made a donation too! What a wonderful blessing to my heart, to take something awful and turn it into something so wonderful! Thank you, thank you!


Once all my locks were cut, Greg gave me this fabulous new short doo (that's Moni pictured below with me), which as you can see was very well received! Our neighbor and dear friend Melodie gathered us all in a circle and collectively prayed the most beautiful prayer of healing for me and for our family...as she lifted us up, I could hear more than a few sniffles and the hand squeezing and collective prayer were so heartfelt. In PURE Melodie-style, she ended the prayer by saying "...and please God, fill Ted's heart with your spirit, to buy Julie the hottest, most expensive pair of great earrings he can find". With that, people roared with AMEN! and laughter and "I BELIEVE"!! It was the perfect reminder that God brings great comfort and laughter with our tears, from our dear Mel!



Then the wine flowed some more and we had such fun with not only my new wig, but also a hot red wig that Gracia brought...so we all took turns trying them both on and well, the comments were well you know...quite hilariously fun! Tom McGettigan and Ted were trading barbs that can't be published (hee, hee!--see more pictures of all of that fun to the right).

All in all, we partied until just before midnight...so I'm fairly certain people were having a great time! Kyle, Joel & Jo and Brian all called which made the night even more perfect. I laid in bed a lonnnnng time reflecting on all my blessings! God is good! Many, many thanks to all who were here, in both body and spirit! I love you all!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Boots, Parking & Other Such Hair Ball Tips

I'm so pumped at the number of you who are able to come tomorrow night to the soon-to-be infamous Hair Ball! The big snow has created some challenges, so thought I'd write a few tips:

--Wear your boots...Ted is trying to clear the sidewalk to the corners on both sides, but the snowplows just cover it right back up, so you may need to prepare to trudge through some snow to get to our front door!
--Park on the street anywhere you can. At 6p, parking is free on any street, so just park on New York or New Jersey wherever you can. You don't have to give the city any meter monies.
--Call us at 917-1752 or 590-9014 if you get lost or need directions. We're in the only 3 story building across from the entrance to Marsh/O'Malia's on New York between Alabama and New Jersey. We're the unit that is on the east end of the building...all the lights in the condo will be on and waiting!
--Come and go as you need to...this was meant to be an open house of sorts, so if you can just stay a minute...come on over and grab some early munchies/wine before heading out to your other plans. It will be great to see you for whatever time you can make it happen!
--Don't forget your cover fee---you need to be wearing a funny hat or wig...I'll have my bouncer determine if you pass the test.
--Skype us if you want to be a part of things. I'll leave Skype open, so you can call and I have video hooked up, so you can talk to people and see us, so if that works for you, call us!

For those of you who so wanted to come, but can't or live too far away...no worries, we'll post lots and lots of pictures over the weekend, so be sure to check in for some good laughs! Thanks much to all of you for considering and honoring such a whacky idea!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!


We awoke this morning to a beautiful blanket of snow and a phone call saying that the entire IUPUI campus is closed for the day! How delicious is that? Ted and I hope you're having a hunker-down, get-out-the-blanket-and-a-good-movie, make-some-stew kind of day! I shouted for joy when I was a kid and we had a snow day...I have that kind of glee in my heart today...a day found where all obligations cease because we all have such a great excuse!

I'm also gleeful because the demons have been purged from me from the first chemo! I swear if I had been a horse, you would have just had to shoot me the last two days especially. But today, I feel like I'm coming back...my nausea is gone, the keep-me-down level of fatigue is lifting and I feel like I can find my old self today. So I'm really happy to be back with the living today. I just may take Wriggie out to play in the snow!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Post-Chemo Update




I think we're getting through this as optimally as we can! We DID make it to St. Louis for such a great time with the twins, Brooke and Brian. I've posted pictures of our great times together. We took the kids to the Science Museum Saturday morning and by naptime, MiMi needed a nap too, so I just laid down when the twins went down. Got up feeling good again, so we went out for a great adult dinner Saturday night. Yesterday, we took off early and I felt a bit more punk last night. Awoke this morning feeling a bit more punk again and got up to go to work, thinking I'd feel better after getting ready. No go...but that's OK..I'm trying to learn how to just roll with it! Hopefully by tomorrow, I'll feel better!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

One Down, Three to Go!

I know that many of you are waiting and watching, so this will be brief, but I'm doing great. My first chemo treatment lasted from 1-5p today....no ill effects at all so far. Ted and I actually went out to dinner as I was starving, having eaten a light lunch in anticipation that I might be nauseous. My dear friend, Julie Burns sat with me and Ted did too for awhile, so the time went really fast and Julie's gourmet cook hubby Bob fixed us an incredible crab chowder/homemade rolls that I'm hoping we can take to St. Louis with us to share with Brooke and Brian when we leave to go see the twins tomorrow. I'm going to make a game-day decision about the trip around noon tomorrow.

They say the next 2-3 days will be when the side effects hit, if they are going to, so I'll post again over the weekend to let you all know how I'm doing. I know I'm absolutely COVERED in prayer, so I feel completely calm and at peace in that you guys are doing all the hard lifting and I just have to dwell in the love you're all sending my way! Thank you, thank you to each and every one of you for the many ways you are touching not only me, but my family as well. We really, really, really feel your love and support and it's so healing to us all!

Making Music in the Rest!


OK, so you all know me so well right? So get this...what does my devotion say TODAY...the very day of my first chemo appointment? Here it is...

"There is no music in a rest, but there is the making of music in it. In our whole life melody the music is broken off here and there by "rests", and we foolishly think we have come to the end of the tune. God sends a time or forced leisure, sickness, disappointed plans, frustrated efforts, and makes a sudden pause in the choral hymn of our lives, and we lament that our voices must be silent, and our part missing in the music which ever goes up to the ear of the Creator. How does the musician read the "rest"? See Him beat the time with unvarying count, and catch up the next note true and steady, as if no breaking place had come between. Be it ours to learn the tune and not be dismayed at the rests."


I (perhaps you too?) struggle with these forced "rests", but have always found my greatest growth during the times when my part is missing in the music. God is good...lo and behold, the next note in my life will be a strong one...glorious, clear, and at a whole new level of symphony!! I'm sure of it!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Julie's Hair Ball!











Do these pictures say it all or what? My hair designer and dear friend, Greg Stocklin is all about taking something scary and well, not at all fun like getting ready to lose all my hair...and making it hilariously fun! So yesterday, he created the "before hairball picture" as the perfectly fun attachment to this invite! So read all the details below and come if you can..we'll have a great time together!

What: Julie's Hair Ball! Julie is going to lose her hair during chemo; so this is a party to give Julie a short, fun haircut in preparation! As all arrive, Greg will be rubber-banding little locks of hair all over Julie's head..then if you want a lock, Julie will gladly have you cut off a lock in exchange for a donation to Susan G Komen's research foundation!

What to bring: You MUST wear a funny hat, wig, any type of headgear to be admitted to the party! Please also bring either a bottle of your favorite wine or a finger-food munchie to share and some cash or a check if you want to make a donation and receive a lock of Julie's hair in return.

When: Friday evening, January 30th from 6:00 forward; be sure to be there at around 7:00p for Julie's fun haircutting experience, where you get to participate!

Who: Anyone, both male and female friends/family are invited!

Where: At the Meek condo, 359 E New York Street, Indy, 46204; phone is 317-917-1752; you can park on any of the streets around our condo for free after 6p.

RSVP: Click on the evite here to RSVP. I tried pulling everyone's email from my Gmail contact list, but I may have missed a few, so email me at julie@indymeeks.com and I'll add you to the evite! Feel free to invite others as well on the evite.

Why: Because if we're gonna go through something like this, we might as well have some fun with it all and pay it forward through donations to help others!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Save the Dates!


Many of my "girlfriends" have asked me when/if I'm going to shave my head vs. letting chunks of my hair be added to Wrigley's all over the place, so the time has nearly come. Since I have my first chemo a week from tomorrow and my hair will fall out 2-3 weeks thereafter, I decided to call my hair designer Greg today, to make some plans. After laughing so hard at him (wait till you meet him, he's a riot!), boy oh boy, do we have plans for you. So this is the tease...save the date Friday, January 30th starting anytime after 5:30p and running into whatever time of night you wish to leave (I have 2 available beds for anyone from out of town who wants them...first come, first serve). The official invitation will be posted next Wed, but let me tell you...it's gonna be fun! So be sure to watch this blog for the official invitation next Wednesday! I just wanted you to know the date. I chose the date especially because my sister Carolyn, will be in town from Florida that weekend and I knew she would love being part of this.

Second, if you're inside trying to keep from freezing to death this Sunday, Jan 18th, tune in to CBS at 2p EST for a show about a national high school basketball tournament, airing right before the big football play-off game. It's our son Kyle's first production to air on one of the big-3 networks, but even better, our nephew Bryson (Ted's brother Joe's oldest) is the little kid playing basketball in the introduction and he's pitching hoops at Indy's downtown Athenaum...cool huh?

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Comfort


I've had more than a few people say to me..."not you, cancer shouldn't hit you, you're too valuable, too good a person...it's not right, it's not fair"! The fundamental question they are raising is why do bad things happen to good people? There are more than a few books written on this topic..my cousin Marcia just highly recommended "The Shack" to me yesterday. And lo and behold, it is the topic of my morning devotion, so eloquently said, that I thought I would bring you these words as it is what I truly believe and have experienced in my own life! This is the Jan 11th excerpt from Streams in The Desert, a collection of spiritual inspirations that helped sustain Mrs. Charles Cowan, as she missioned in Japan and China and nursed her dying husband for six years.

"Store up comfort. This was the prophet's mission. The world is full of comfortless hearts, and ere thou are sufficient for this lofty ministry, thou must be trained. And thy training is costly in the extreme; for, to render it perfect, thou too must pass through the same afflictions as are wringing countless hearts of tears and blood. Thus thy own life becomes the hospital ward where thou art taught the divine art of comfort. Thou art wounded, that in the binding up of thy wounds by the Great Physician, thou mayest learn how to render first aid to the wounded everywhere. Dost thou wonder why thou art passing through some special sorrow? Wait till ten years are passed, and thou wilt find many others afflicted as thou art. Thou wilt tell them how thou hast suffered and hast been comforted; then as the tale is unfolded, and the anodynes applied which once thy God wrapped around thee, in the eager look, and the gleam of hope that shall chase the shadow of despair across the soul, thou shalt know why thou wast afflicted, and bless God for the discipline that stored thy life with such a fund of experience and helpfulness."

In short, "God does not comfort us to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters". (quote from Dr. Jowett)!

May you be comforted or be a comforter to someone today!

Friday, January 9, 2009

It's a Family Diagnosis





What has impressed me most over the last few weeks is how hard my diagnosis has hit our family and close friends...not just me (various pictures of our kids, Mo, Finley and Parker and our kids friends over the holidays included here , so you can see them)! Everyone naturally supports the person with the problem, but Ted, our kids, our family and closest friends are hurting and trying to get through the shock of it all, and having those sobbing moments where they're just devastated at the thought that I would have to go through this, and trying to cope...often at a distance and yet, as a general tendency, we don't naturally think to provide them with the support that I get everyday.

I am very aware that with all the great medical care that I'm getting, there's this HUGE need for our family and friends to get care and that's nearly always missing from the acute care system. I've had the most special and optimal of medical care situations. I had connections...I had people! I've had the optimal medical care. I got in for surgery so very quickly with Dr. Goulet, who was just wonderful to us. Our oncologist, Dr. Kathy Miller, spent nearly two hours with me, Ted, Kyle, Joel and Jo on Christmas Eve afternoon for heaven's sake! What a special woman she is...and Dr. Goulet as well plus all the staff at the Simon Cancer Center at IU. Every person who has touched us has been so very kind.

But this is where you all come in. We continue to need you...our kids need you, our closest friends need you, our Meek and Lukens nuclear family needs you, so I'm requesting that your comments on this particular blog posting be directed to them and that I've also given you our kid's emails in my "Favor" list. Post comments for them, not me this time!

On a very operational note, thanks so much to Joel for his savvy technology solution to permit you all to so easily see what we need and to give you an easy way to sign up! Please continue to watch your input to my "favor" list in the "notes" section as that's the easiest/most efficient way for me to respond to you, so really, our use of this tool is a favor to me in and of itself. So if you've posted an offer for help or want to sign up, please return the next day to the "favor" list and see my response in the notes section OK? Or you can email or call me with your plans if you wish as well. Love you Joel, for helping me with this!

Bless you all and thanks be to God for your love and kindness.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Realities of Life


Isn't this a funny picture? It kind of hits home doesn't it? A capable, professional woman lovingly embraced by our son Brian, as I ice my surgical site! It's indicative that after all is said and done, ya just gotta get through it any way you can!

First of all, thanks so much to the many of you who emailed, called, or otherwise touched me in some way over the last 48 hours. I still can't believe the love that's pouring over us...it's absolutely unbelievable and incredible!! I can't tell you how helpful it is to receive these messages of support...I'm keeping track every day and listing each and every support action in my journal and you just would be amazed at the length of each day's list. Someday we'll have an "Angel" party when this is all over and we'll treat YOU to a great time of coming together to party and play and laugh and rejoice that we all got through it! It's just been wonderful.

So what's next? Many of you have said..."what can I do to help"?, but I'm faced with some realities at the moment that only I can handle or tackle. I need to complete interviews for a permanent position at IU next Mon/Tues and then again on 1/20, so pray that it all goes well as I so want to be selected for this position. I was hired on "visiting professor" monies, so this interview process will hopefully convert me from temporary salary monies to budgeted monies. My students start Monday in two of the courses I'm teaching, so I'm reading about 2-300 pages of material a week to prepare/learn these courses, though I'm blessed in that I'm assisting the primary profs in hopes that I'll be able to fill in or take over these courses eventually. A third course that I'm teaching doesn't start until 4 days after my last chemo treatment the end of March, so I'm praying that I can fulfill that responsibility but am developing a "plan B" for all. My consulting work is busy too, but I have help there as well, so that should be manageable.

I need to consult with Joel on how to do this, but I promise to give those of you wishing to find a way to help, with a "sign-up sheet" of sorts, so you can choose what best fits your desires and schedule.

By the way, the votes so far are favoring scarves, but Teddy has to weigh in, so I'll keep you posted on that front! For now, just know that Teddy, our family and I send our love out to all of you and thank you for your support and love!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Mama Called the Doctor and the Doctor Said....

Hi everyone...Ted and I apologize for the late time of this posting. We didn't get back from my appointments with Goulet and Miller until almost 5pm and then, well...we just wanted time to be alone with the good news we had today and to share some wine together. So apart from some short calls to our kids and sibs and Mo, we focused on just being together and being relieved.

So here's the scoop. The 2 lymph nodes that they biopsied are CLEAN. The margins around the tumor are CLEAN. Praise God above for His answer to our collective fervent prayers and praise God for my earthly angels..all of YOU reading this blog!! The only surprise was that the tumor was NOT 1.3 cm as per the MRI scan two weeks ago, but 2.3 cm, which puts me in the "medium tumor" category, but that increases my risk only slightly.

So here's the plan. I will start chemotherapy (Taxotere and Cytoxan)on Jan 22nd and go every 3 weeks (2/12, 3/5, 3/26) for 4 doses total. This schedule permits me to still go on the short trips Ted and I had scheduled and to hopefully maintain my work schedule at IU. After I have chemo, I'll start radiation (exact timing and schedule TBD), then after radiation, I'll go on a hormone inhibitor orally for several years. I think I'm also going to participate in a clinical trial and have another drug added...they have found that the drug class that prevents osteoporosis, also may prevent breast cancer from metastasizing to your bone as it strengthens the bone and makes it a more dense, so less desirable place to set up cancer-shop. I have to read the full consent stuff, but I'll likely do that as it doesn't affect the rest of my care in any way. If anything, because I'm in the trial, I'll be pre-trial bone scanned, blood-watched and physician-watched more closely, so that's a good thing in my opinion.

So here's the fun part...you get to vote! Joel posted a survey below on the right-hand-side column of this blog...what should I wear? go with the cue ball look? a scarf? a wig? Ted wants to know what you all think I should do. These drugs have side effects...hair loss, fatigue, nausea, mouth sores, low white and red blood cell counts etc, but for every problem, they are ready with a solution, so I just have to call in the SWAT team if I'm having trouble and day or night...they're there!

So we feel good that we know what lies ahead...now we just have to do it! With all the love and support we're receiving...I have no doubts! Thanks be to God for all of you...I continue to be just overwhelmed and awed by the love you're pouring over me! Love you!

Monday, January 5, 2009

The Lukens Gene

I was victim to The Lukens Gene today. It's true. Those who know one of us from my dad's side (Lukens side of the tree) or any of my siblings all agree that we have a defective gene that we all call "The Lukens Gene". It's hilarious, but as each child is born in our family...my entire family watches for the emergence of signs that this child would be possessed with this terrible curse...God forbid! And if it's deemed that the child has this gene, the family gives a worried look and sigh as they gaze at this new infant..knowing that this child is doomed to endure the inevitable ramifications of this tainted inherited trait. Our son Joel has it...Kyle and Brian seem to be heterozygous on this...so there are worrisome signs, but they seem to be able to control its effects with the saving influence of Ted's lineage.

Those of with this genotype are doomed to a lifetime of not knowing how or when to slow down. We're relentless. A dear business colleague of mine, Dr. Richard Citrin observed..."you may be first person I've seen with "attention intensity disorder"! We get so focused on what we want to accomplish or get done, that we ignore all bodily signs of weariness.

I'm guilty as charged. I had all these things I wanted to get done over IU's break, so I tried to do them all TODAY! I was on the floor twisting up wires for my new computer, cleaning my office, walking across campus to meet with a faculty member, etc. etc. So I'm decidedly pooped...my fault, no sympathies...in fact, some of you would hog-tie me if you were nearby! So obviously the answer to the question...how's your energy level? is that it's quite good right now, but then my body yells at me!

This will be the hardest part of the treatment for me...I do not deal well with loss of energy, so it's been added to my prayer list. If any of you similarly-obsessed people have ideas for me, please post a comment! I definitely need help with this one!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Help of Friends


Ted and I are just filled with awe at the way people have come to our aid over the last 18 days. So many of our family and friends have emailed us, commented on the blog, visited from near and far, helped us laugh, called, linked me to the best doctors, helped me sort out important treatment decisions, sent me scripture lessons and readings, brought us food, given us helpful books to read, sent flowers...yes, and even ordered me more comfortable bras to wear during my upcoming radiation, taken down our Christmas decorations, helped me shop for last minute Christmas list items, written me daily letters...the list goes on and on!

With some of you who have given so freely, I feel touches of guilt...did I help you when you needed it? Was I there for you? really? I know that at times, I wasn't. Not that my heart wasn't with you, but at times when you needed me, perhaps I was on some stupid flight or answering the 200 emails that hit my inbox daily, or dealing with some capital, operational or employee situation. For all the moments I should have been there for you and wasn't, I'm so sorry! That makes your act of kindness even more precious...it's not deserved, but you did it anyway. I love you for that.

All of this is just a solid confirmation of what love really looks like, really feels like and how coming together during a crisis for one of us, lifts up all of us!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Gird Your Loins--She's Back!

I awoke this morning to the realization that this really isn't a dream (funny as this seems with two incisions across my breast). It seems crazy I know, but with the speed at which everything happened (I just learned I have cancer 16 days ago!) and the many, many of you who surrounded me with love, and the holidays on top of it all, I kind of felt like I was moving through it all in a daze and that I would wake up and realize I had just been having a crazy dream.

But the reality has set in...our family has all returned to their busy lives, our home is quiet, Ted is back at work as well as many of you who are reading this blog...and it's time to stare this thing down and beat it! I love the line from Devil Wears Prada, where Stanley Tucci announces to everyone that Meryl Streep (the get-it-done editor) is about to enter the office. I want this cancer that's invaded my body to get the same announcement...I'm back and ready to beat you...so you had better hightail it outta me!

The goal for today...get my responses back to the many of you who populated my inbox with words of kindness and our life with food, flowers, cards and lotsa love! And also to finish reading "The Middle Place" by Kelly Corrigan, a heartfelt gift from our Dr. Jo (Joel's girlfriend, Dr. Jo Chien who has guided us every step of the way).

I know that many of you feel the same...the holidays have kind of shielded you for a time from things in your life that you would just prefer not to face, but now the reality is that you must this difficult issue or situation. God never gives us more than we can handle, especially if we turn to Him for guidance and help, so my prayer for you is that whatever challenge you face in your life, you will join me in saying "Gird Your Loins, (Insert your challenge), with God at my side, I'm back and ready to tackle this head on!