Monday, December 28, 2009

Grandbaby Harrison is Born!

Anticipating the birth of a child is right up there in the top 10 list of anxiety-producing experiences for a grandmother! And when you know that the baby is really big or really small, the anticipation accelerates!

I was beside myself this morning anticipating the birth of our third grandchild, Harrison Charles Meek! Our son Brian and daughter-in-law Brooke arrived at the hospital at the top hour of today at 1AM. Anticipating that things would be well moved along, I spent a near-sleepless night at the hotel and finally got in the shower to calm myself down around 6AM. Brian called around 8A...I couldn't grab the phone fast enough. All my overnight worries were for naught as we learned that it had taken awhile to check Brooke in and they had just started some light labor. Brian texted us again around 10AM to say that the contractions were stronger. I couldn't contain myself, so Ted, Kyle and I went to see a movie to try and distract me.

Then the beautiful news came! Around 12:35p, Brian texted us baby Harrison's picture and he had arrived...10 lbs, 9 oz...that's right folks...a veritable walking, talking toddler emerged to greet the world at 22 inches long and healthy as can be! Mom too! Brooke was entertaining our 'first greeting' bunch an hour later and looking amazingly good for having birthed such a boy!

I thought I did a good job containing myself in the darkness of the theater, but Kyle later shared that my sobs were 'audible' and he feared a bigger scene! I know one thing...I have no clue how "Up in the Air" ended, so if someone knows, please clue me in. I was too busy being excited to care!

So welcome Harrison! Let's hope 2010 greets your birth with lots of good news!

P.S. No close-up pic's yet...Mom will say the word when baby Harry can be viewed!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas!

My talented nephew, Gavin Mikhail, sent his beautifully recorded song to us this morning! I'm not that talented, but my wish is as warm for all...to savor the peace and joy that is Christmas. My favorite night of the whole year is tonight...the world has slowed way down and families gather in their homes doing all the last minute preparations for Christmas morning. Most are attending services to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus. Many families celebrate on Christmas Eve with dinner and gift exchanges.

Believe it or not, this is Ted's and my first Christmas ever to not be at home in Indy! Also, our first Christmas without Joel, who we now appropriately are sharing with the Chien family as they celebrate in California. So we're in a new chapter of life, starting new holiday traditions!

We will take my 98-year-old mother to dinner and Eve services at her church this evening. Our 'sleigh' is packed and ready to take off for St. Louis to pick up Kyle at the airport Christmas morning traveling in from NYC, then off to Brian & Brooke's for brunch and fun, then to spend Christmas evening with Brooke's family. The best part is that we will welcome a new grandson soon (!!) as Brooke is imminent to have Harrison any time now. Parker and Finely will be so fun this year, so we're so excited to get there to be with them all! I promise pictures of the new babe and Parker and Fin in action as soon as we can!

Whatever your traditions, my wish is that you have a blessed Christmas...filled with all you love most!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Awaiting Newborn Babies!

I am struck by the fact that I literally have the birth of Harrison and the health of Brooke, our new grandson and daughter-in-law, on my mind nearly every moment of the day. But something hit me last night as I was watching a Christmas show on TV.

My how things have changed from the birth of Jesus, to the birth of our three sons and now to the birth of Harrison...and yet, how certain things about it all have stayed the same.

The Knowing: Mary didn't know she was pregnant until an angel appeared to tell her. I had to wait nearly six weeks to know via a test that I had to take into the hospital. Now Brooke knew about eight whole minutes later...that she was pregnant right at home. And yet, I remember the sense of wonder I'm sure we all had at first finding out...a little anxious at what's ahead, very aware of all the plans that now have changed as a result, yet very appreciative of the miracle that is now growing inside us.

The Growing: Can you imagine Mary and Joseph...how they stressed over telling people as Mary became visibly pregnant? One can only imagine the stress on Mary as Jesus grew in her womb. And like the ancient couples of long ago, Ted and I didn't have any idea how our babies were doing in utero except for hearing heartbeats and feeling movement flutters, all of which were so cherished. Now, Brooke and Brian heard Harrison's heartbeat so early...we have a detailed ultrasound picture of him already on our 'frig and now already know he weighs ALOT and his head is big like his MiMi's head. We've been calling him by name for months now and feel as if we know him! And yet, the similarities of cherishing every movement, every indication that your growing baby is okay are all feelings we Moms have had in common since the birth of man on this earth.

The Waiting: Mother Mary had no idea when she was 'due'. So much so, that they took off on a donkey trip unaware that Jesus would be on his way and born in a manger. By the time we had our sons, the doc's could give you a good sense of the due date, but I blew by those dates with all three sons...10 days late with Kyle, 14 days late with Joel, 29 days late with Brian. I'm sure Brooke is as sick as I was at hearing people ask "Haven't you had that baby yet?" And yet, we all have this sense of heightened watchful waiting...the expectancy...and yes, the anxiety of wondering when and how this newest little one will arrive.

The Birthing: Can you imagine delivering in the midst of smelly hay and farm animals, outside, without any nursing or physician help? What must have been going through Mary's mind as she labored and delivered? And Joseph too...how worried he must have been? With our three, birthing was still a 'medical procedure' without any of the frills we see today...it was a big deal to have Ted with me instead of in a waiting room. When Brooke had the twins, we were amazed at the amenities in the room...beautiful decor, laboring and birthing all from the same bed, and the twins early newborn care completed right in the same room with all of our watchful eyes upon the nurses, who skillfully cared for them with Brian's help in bathing and swaddling the babes. The amazing miracle of birth is that it happens in all circumstances across the globe...in luxurious surroundings or humble habitats.

The Celebrating: Can you hold a newborn babe and not feel joy? As the shepherds and then wise men were led by the star, they came to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus...amazed at the sight of Him! Ted and I made old-fashioned telephone calls to announce the birth of our sons and many came to view them through the glass of the hospital nursery...no one allowed to touch the babes until we came home some three days later. Now we blog and text and tweet pictures of the babes moments after their birth for the waiting world to see...across the miles...across the globe. We thankfully hold and love these babes right away and adore the touch of their soft and perfect newborn skin.

So many differences across the span of time, yet so much is the same. We are in awe of newborn life and of the potential therein! To you dear Brooke...may you be healthy and strong throughout the waiting, birthing and celebrating! And to you, Baby Harrison...we can't wait to hold you and celebrate your birth! And to you Lord Jesus...thank you for coming to save the world. Happy Birthday!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Appreciating Teachers!


I finally finished grading papers yesterday and now have all my grades turned in for this semester! I can't tell you how happy I feel to have a bit of a break over the holidays. I have several friends and family members who are teachers and so for years, I've watched and listened to them go through the same end-of-semester, can't-wait-for-a-break saga that I'm now going through. I get them now...completely.

You love your teaching, but it takes a lot of energy to be a great teacher. You get involved with your students. The good students are a breath of fresh air, sailing along with nothing more than an 'attaboy' or 'attagirl' here or there. The middle of the bell curve all need a bit of encouragement, a tip here or there...but with the right mix of 'push' and help, they make it. Then there's always 1 or 2 at the other end of the bell curve. They struggle and you can tell most of these folks have never had the kind of success that encourages them. Most have very low self-esteem or lots of life context complications. So these are the folks that take lots more energy. Most have good hearts and good intentions...they just need lots more help. When they respond...it's oh so satisfying!

So I'm still working...have some meetings to attend rest of week, but then...for the first time since 1986...what is that? 23 years? I'll actually be completely off the few days before Christmas! How delicious is that?

So for all the teachers reading this blog...I really appreciate your years of energy for your students! Have a great Christmas break before you begin all over again!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Year Ago Today


A year ago today, like many women, I went in for my annual mammogram. I gowned up and endured the usual 'squishing'. I was then taken into another room for an ultrasound, routine for me given the prior sightings of various dense areas. The technician would pause now and again, going over certain areas more carefully...again, something I was used to. She then said..."I'm going to have Dr. Schmidt take a look at this area...she often does that, no need for concern." So Dr. Schmidt came in and once again, carefully performed her testing while watching the ultrasound screen.

So then Dr. Schmidt asked me to sit up and spoke words I'll never forget. She wanted me to stay that day and have a MRI and then said that she wanted me to have a biopsy right away and that even if the results came back negative, she wouldn't believe it. It took a moment for her words to sink in, but her message was clear...I had cancer. Her wisdom was later confirmed with the MRI later that day, and then a biopsy on the 16th and the path report on the 17th. Then the whirlwind of emotion and activity began for our entire circle of close family and friends over the Christmas holiday with my lumpectomy on the 29th.

I admit that I'm having trouble putting my reflections into words as I sit here a year later. Mostly I feel. I feel thankful for Dr. Schmidt's diligence. Thankful for the many researchers and doctors who make fighting cancer their life's work (including my daughter-in-law-to-be Jo), thus affording me much better treatment strategies than were present a decade ago. Thankful that I had the very best of care from Drs Schmidt, Goulet, Miller and Andrews.

But ever so thankful for the loving care I received from Ted, Kyle, Joel, Brian, Brooke and Jo. Thankful for the thousands of prayers sent up on my behalf. Thankful for the hoards of cards, vacation retreats, meals, emails, calls, visits, gifts, races walked on my behalf, and love received from family and friends, in fact from many of you who still read this blog, that made all the difference in my recovery.

So more to mark this day and help me remember, so that I can help and encourage others, the thing that has surprised me the most is that the journey is still ongoing. I don't have the energy levels I'd like to have as of yet...making progress, but not there yet. In all honesty, I feel good about 2 days a month, which are cherished days indeed. I still need to take Aromatase for 4 1/2 more years each morning, a drug that I'm grateful for, but will be happy to finish. I will continue to go in for IV Zometa treatments every 3 months until May of 2012. In short, I have a ways to go. Many survivors I talk to say that it took them 18 months to 2 years beyond the completion of treatment to truly feel recovered. As much as I hate to think about that, I now understand how much the body needs to do to recover from surgery, chemo and radiation.

On the positive side, the cancer was caught early. I can't implore you enough ladies...despite the craziness of the recent change in screening guidelines...go get your annual exam! I am so blessed to live near a major cancer center...once again, get to the right place for treatment! Most of all, I am blessed with a strong faith and an army of people that care about me. It was indeed the greatest blessing of all, to feel that love so strongly this past year.

For all of the above, I celebrate today!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Refuse the Rush of Christmas!


I for one am making a vow, right here and now, to refuse to miss the true meaning of Christmas, because I got caught up in the rush of Christmas. We are pressured from all sides...magazines show us the very best ways to decorate, bake and wrap; morning TV is constant in its ideas for best gifts; cyber-shopping ads pop on every screen. Yet, despite every reason to feel rushed myself...I refuse to do so.

I have two more weeks of non-stop papers to grade and student meetings and grants to get submitted and faculty meetings galore. So it won't be until around the 15th before I can really focus on preparations. But when I do, I will revel in each part of our glad tidings. So even though I'll not get voted "Best Whatever" by Martha and her gang, I'll not forget to love the joy, peace and contentment that is the true meaning of celebrating the birth of Christ and celebrating with those I love most!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

In anticipation of an absolutely wonderful upcoming weekend of time with family and friends, I thought I would prompt you to comment on what you're most thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Here's my list:
--My dear husband Ted
--That our kids, daughters-in-law, grandbabies and babe-in-womb are so healthy and are all happy and prospering
--That my life is so full of people to love and who love me back
--That we will gather on Saturday for a wonderful party to honor Joel and Jo's engagement with so many of our friends and family
--That I have some days, though still too rare, where I feel like my old self again, but that I'm improving month by month
--Most importantly, that God loves me!

Can't wait to read your comments! Have a very blessed Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 9, 2009

I Declare Blog War!

Okay, okay...most of you already knew and I'm sure were aghast as you read AskIndyTed's blog and I quote...

"Who is in control of the thermostat in your abode? If you are a man, you are in control. If not, buy a skirt. No self-respecting man ever relinquishes control of the one thing that women are incapable of understanding."

So did he actually think I would let that go? Of course not. Is he writing such nonsense just to irk me? to get my ire up? If so, it's working as I now declare our first Meek family...

All out BLOG WAR!

So here's my retort...

"Who is in control of everything else except the thermostat and the TV/DVR remotes in your abode? If you are a woman, you are in control. If not, get your girlfriends together for an emergency session to talk some sense into you! No self-respecting woman ever relinquishes control over running the household, the kids, the bills, the social calendar and all other "duties assumed" that men are incapable of understanding or should I say incapable of wanting to understand!"

So there!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Virtual Thanks!


I continue to just love my IU teaching job. It fits me perfectly...love the connection to students, the need to continually learn and the flexibility to do my work from wherever and whenever (well almost) I want!

I have been a "virtual" worker for so long that I was really jerked back to reality during a recent faculty meeting at the school. Now mind you, this was a room of master's and doctorally prepared acadamicians who are all just amazing people. But as we discussed a renovation to the 'faculty floor' of the building, there very clearly emerged a dichotomous curve. There were those who clearly not only love their offices, but have strong preferences regarding all aspects of the floor design, from how big, where at, how their desk faces, etc, etc. I was struck by their passion as I don't even need nor necessarily want IU to spend monies on an office for moi'.

I was so amazed, yet after reflecting on the discussion, realized that their preferences are no less valid than mine. My preferences are just as strong at the other end of the curve...I need to work where and however I want to...be it the library, grade papers at 1am, on a flight or at a Starbucks (where I do some of my best work juiced by a Venti black unsweetened iced tea if I do say so myself!). I'm currently teaching a class that is TOTALLY online...we never meet, students read about, turn in and I grade all of their assignments online and even my office hours are online using Breeze Adobe technology.

All of this just begs the question around how all of this "virtual-ness" drives some of us? while for others, it's disturbing? And most importantly, how dramatically our work, social and family lives are being affected. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't log onto Brooke's blog for a dose of my grandchildren's latest antics or Skype them on the weekends between our visits. We're in touch it seems multiple times per week with our three sons via GChat, texting, email and cell phone calls. What would we have done if we didn't have these mechanisms to stay connected across the miles between NYC, San Fran and St. Louis? I think it's a really fun subject to think about!

Anyhoo, when turkey time rolls around, I'm sending virtual thanks for my virtual world!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!


This picture says it all....Halloween is just made for fun with kids! Parker and Finley loved visiting the pumpkin patch and we had a blast helping them with their first participatory jack-o-lantern carving. Just love the looks on kids faces when they first discover the gook inside the pumpkin.

Hope your Halloween is filled with some child-like fun!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I Think I've Just Received a Huge Gift!


Oh my gosh...I know it's premature, but I just had to write you all about this. I'm not a whiner by nature. I tend to suck it up and push down how my body feels and just go about my day. My mind always seems to be able to overcome the minor normal aches and pains of life and I find that as my day moves on...I don't even notice or remember how hard it was to get out of bed.

So what has changed for me since entering this whole breast cancer and treatment thing, is that those tactics haven't worked very well lately. I hurt all over ALL day from my feet to my shoulders and everywhere in between and on top of that, I manage to have 3-4 hot flashes per hour, so you run the quality of life calculations. This equates to lowered energy for all I love to do and that is so frustrating to me.

But yesterday, I think we found a solution. I went in for all my normal check-ups with my oncology doc's and they felt it was time to do something more to help me out. So they prescribed a nightly dose of Neurontin..that can be up'd to a 2nd and 3rd dose if needed to control my hot flashes. Needless to say, Ted RAN to the drug store to get this filled last night in the hopes that he might not have to spend the night freezing under the covers as I run a constant fan over my body and make him turn the heat down to freezing temps.

Guess what happened next? I woke up at 7AM feeling bright and bushy-tailed! I felt more rested than I have in a year! Next, I put my poor plantar-fascitiis feet to the floor, to begin my pain-filled hobble to the bathroom. And lo and behold, NO PAIN...absolutely none! It's a God-given miracle! This drug is also prescribed for nerve pain due to shingles, fibromyalgia, etc., but little did I know I would get this affect on my feet! We're both still a bit cautious about this result as I also had my Zometa treatment yesterday and they give me 2 anti-inflammatory drugs to reduce the flu-like side effects but I don't remember getting any relief for my feet in the prior treatments, so I'm hopeful the Neurontin is helping.

It's now 1:30p and I haven't yet had a hot flash today. My feet still don't hurt. I actually have energy! I'm pumped! This would enable me to walk/get exercise again which will help me get this stinkin' weight off. I know we beat up the drug companies for profit-mongering, but I tell ya...thank God for their work...it just changed my life!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Speaking of Goals!

So if you look to the left, you'll see 7 of the most goal-driven people I know...this is from Joel & Jo's engagement party in San Fran about 10 days ago (left to right Jo's parents David & Chia-Chia, Ted & me, Jo & Joel, Jeff & Shiao who is Jo's sister/bro-in-law). I'm hoping to be inspired by these folks!

If you look to the right under the item called Recovery Goals, you will see that I made huge progress in the first few months post-treatment, but now it's S-L-O-W going! In terms of the last few goals which basically cover losing weight, starting to exercise more regularly, my right arm healing and Teddy feeling like "I'm back", well...I'm just not "back" enough to get those done!

It seems that what I can still manage is to get my teaching work done, to keep up with all the wonderful fun events happening in our lives and to rest enough in between to get to the next week! I know that exercising regularly would help me a ton, but I just don't have the energy to even think about it, other than my weekly weight training, which I've been doing faithfully.

So whether I just need more patience or someone to kick my big behind into gear is somewhat of a toss-up at the moment!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Life's Celebrations!

It's true what they say...after intense storms come beautiful streams of sunshine. And so it is for the Meek family right now. After an intense winter, we seem to be overflowing with blessings...
--The twins growing and so healthy
--Brooke's pregnancy going well and Harrison looking so healthy in utero
--Joel and Jo getting engaged
--Brian loving his residency
--Kyle doing cool shows and increasing the length of his productions
--Teddy retiring
--Me loving my job
--Many, many, many happy celebrations shared with neighbors, friends and family over the summer
--No shortage of more fun and celebrations this fall

So I just feel so blessed. I'm trying to enjoy and savor every minute of it. I hate those 'life-happens', wise old woman thoughts of knowing that there will be another time of challenge ahead, at some point...but for now, joy!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Thanks again to the folks on 2North

Ted and I were trying to visit our dear friend Chet yesterday at University Hospital. When it turned out that we didn't happen to find him in bed (which is a good thing), we decided to do something we've wanted to do for a long time...we went back to say Hi to the nursing staff on 2North as we had promised we would back in April. These folks were the crew who cared for me when my white blood cell count dropped so low and I had pneumonia after my final chemo round. So they saw me at probably the low point in terms of my response to treatment. Even though I was only there for 4 days, we really had a great time together. Since I was in reverse isolation, they were my primary source of conversation and fun during the days and nights and we talked about all kinds of stuff.

So you can imagine their joy when I showed up...glowing with health, lots of hair, good energy and back to my life. They shared that it really helps them KNOW that they do good, that they really make a difference in people's lives, that all their schooling and hard work really does pay off.

So once again, I salute all caregivers....nurses, doc's, nursing assistants, and all those who provide the food, do the laundry, clean the floors, order the supplies and manage all of that. Never forget the importance of your healing role in the lives of so many people!

I tried to find Dr. Phyllis Schmidt last Friday, who was the person who diagnosed my cancer, but she was gone for the day...so that's still a to-do on my list!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Teddy's New Chapter Begins Today!



Today is Ted's last day of work...after 37 years! I wanted to share my thoughts publicly for this wonderful man and his amazing work ethic! So here's to you Teddy!




You got up anyway and went to work…
In the rain,
In the dark,
In the snow and ice,
In pain,
Because you knew that so many were counting on you,
Your customers,
Your employees,
Your Dad and your brothers,
Your brothers’ families,
Your sons, and most of all,
Me.
Probably more than anyone else…I know how hard that was for you!
So on this day, we stand together and applaud your 37 accomplished years of providing for so many,
And we thank you from the bottom of our hearts…
For getting up anyway.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

An Angel in the Post Office

Being the 'dog person' that I am, I just had to post this story.

This is one of the kindest things you may ever see. It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

"Dear God,Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her. Love, Meredith"

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ' To Meredith ' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ' When a Pet Dies.. ' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey &Meredith and this note:

"Dear Meredith: Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away. Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by. Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I'm easy to find. I am wherever there is love.
Love,God"

Friday, September 25, 2009

Need your prayers!

Hello to all--I know that I have a whole community of 'pray-er's' out there that check into my blog every few days. My heart is filled with the need to pray for some folks over the next few days, so I thought I would share, so that if you feel led to do so, you can pray for them too!
--Pray for our dear friends Joey & Kurt all weekend as we all celebrate the wedding of their son Kevin to his bride Corey. Lots of logistics need to fall into place between now and Sunday night, so pray that all goes well and we can truly celebrate this joyous occasion.
--Pray for Chet, that his surgery goes really well on Monday morning and also for Coleen, his wife, that she is filled with peace and will be comforted as she waits for his surgery to be completed.
--Pray for my friend Joyce and her sis Janis and bro-in-law Greg...as they share joy in Greg's last earthly times.
--Pray for our neighbors Melodie and Terry...as they both transition and move into their separate homes...that their healing continues and both receive the help and love they need at this tough time for them both.
--Pray for my dear college roomie Munch, that her finger graft 'takes' and she can endure the boredom of waiting for her hand to heal from her lawn mower accident.
--Pray for our new grandson in utero and for Brooke, our daughter-in-law, that they both continue to be healthy and strong.
--Pray for our son Joel and his bride-to-be Jo, that they can enjoy all the wedding planning amidst very hectic and demanding work lives.
--And last, but certainly at the top of my list, pray for Ted as he had his last 3 days this coming week...his official last day at Modern Photo is this coming Wednesday...that this next chapter of his life will be filled with joy and be as fulfilling and wonderful for him as the last 37 years at MoPho have been!

Thanks you all...hard to believe that all of the above is taking place right now and over the next few days! Life is full isn't it?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

What I Live With!

It was our first Sunday morning in months to kick back, goof off, do whatever and so I sleepily climbed out of bed, put on my comf-iest of clothes and slogged my way downstairs. Ted had been up for awhile. He looked at me and started laughing...with that awful Dreyer chuckle sort of laugh that means he's about to make fun of me...and I wasn't disappointed. He said...'you look exactly like Conway Twitty'! Therein followed an online look-up and I hate to admit it...but it's a dead match on the hair! I need a haircut FAST! What I live with...

Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Needed Reminder

Of course, leave it up to my God to put me in exactly the right place at the right time. My mind has been racing ahead of my body lately. I have no problem with motivation...my desire to do lots of things is there, but my body is lagging behind. I find that if I push in the way that I was so used to doing...I pay the price!

So it was a perfect thing that my friend Kathy Carrier did this week when she invited me and 2 other ladies to lunch. There we sat, outside at Le Meridian, on the most gorgeous of days, getting to know each other.

I quickly knew that Tiffany was a "Julie Meek" in the work ethic sense. She was an exec with Roche Diagnostics, traveling internationally for them, and like me, she had a job that was 24/7. She willingly shared that she is a breast cancer survivor...for 2 years now...YEAH! She is radiant! So I asked her...'how long did it take before you really felt like yourself again?"

She said "a year and a half". I was stunned! Here I am, 3 1/2 months post treatment expecting to feel totally back to normal and this amazing woman, who had surgery, chemo and radiation like me and who is equally as anxious as I am to get life back to normal...said a year and a half!

WOW--what a perfect person for God to put before me! What a gift Tiffany is to me. I guess I need to be more patient! Thank you Kathy...for always caring for me in such unique and wonderful ways amidst your busy life!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Busy-Busy!


It's hard to believe that I haven't posted since August 28th! For my devoted blog friends, that's just not acceptable! The reason is that we've been busy-busy! In the 12 days since I last posted, we have:
  • Enjoyed a wonderful visit from my sis Marilyn and bro-in-law Guy including a great outdoor brunch at my bro Larry's and sis-in-law Barb's
  • Gotten involved in a large grant writing process at IU and graded 3 weeks worth of student postings plus handled a large number of student questions/concerns
  • Enjoyed an Indian's ballgame with our good friends Nick, Roni and Lori
  • Gotten all the plans off the ground for a meet/greet party for our son Joel and his soon-to-be wife Jo here in Indy Thanksgiving weekend
  • Gone to see Mo twice
  • Visited with all our kids multiple times by phone
  • Accomplished a few hours of consulting
  • Deep cleaned a closet or two
  • Strength trained twice
  • Started our kitchen upgrade searching for appliances, counter tops, etc.
  • Enjoyed our annual fantasy football draft and after-party at brother Larry's
  • Enjoyed a great visit with our dear friend Steve while he was in town for a conference
  • Started planning a retirement party for a beloved colleague and friend
  • etc., etc....you get the picture!
So not an excuse, but instead a celebration of getting back to life after treatment! If ever a family was doing that with blazing speed, it's us!

I also want to share that it seems that every book I've read on breast cancer involves a post-treatment scare or two. Well--I've had mine. For about a month, I've had some spot-tenderness under my operative arm right on my chest wall. And of course, you know how it goes...you talk yourself "in" and "out" of calling the doctor about ten times before you call. Anyhoo, I finally called and got in quickly to see my surgeon yesterday. Thankfully, it's just some scarring around a rib cage nerve (intercostal neuroma for you medical people out there) that hopefully will settle down as I heal a bit more.

So all is well here and life is at full pace for all the Meek's! And for my friend Cathy---sorry, I'm tired of being a Volkswagon...I'm a racy red Ferrari once more!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Heaps and Heaps of Support!



















I have had a heavy heart this week. Several people that I dearly love are facing really tough situations...the recurrence of cancer and all that comes with the 'what-do-I-do-now?' phase, another with an early pregnancy scare, and yet another sharing the last days of a loved family member. But I'm reminded, as in my own journey, to take all these situations to my God in prayer! Indeed, He already knows the outcome of all these situations and He will work for good in each and every one of the hearts of those involved in each of these trials.

So it seemed fitting that today was the day to take the 'healing basket' (contents pictured) off our kitchen counter and into a keepsake box that I will treasure forever. This basket housed all the letters, notes and cards that you all sent over the last 8+ months of my cancer journey. Likewise, I have an "Ahhh, Love is Nice" Gmail folder that holds 448 of your emails sent to me with words of love and encouragement.

I have a diary where I carefully noted each day, the many calls, meals, and gifts that came in that day.

In addition, I just checked my Google analytics for Julie's Pink Link and since December 18th, you all have made 9,518 visits to this blog, leaving your good thoughts and comments along every step of the journey our family has traveled since my diagnosis. Indeed, 44 of our 50 U.S. states are represented and somehow also 39 other countries in the world have checked in at one time or another! Little did I know how far reaching the blog would be.

It seems the right day to once again be reminded of these treasures of the last few months. We human beings need to be reminded constantly of God's provision for us and how truly healing it is to others when we take time to reach out to them with a note, an email, a phone call, a prayer or all the other ways we can send the message..."I care about you"! Your love for me and my family was truly remarkable and truly made all the difference in my healing journey! Thank you so much!

My prayer today is that in each of the situations my friends are now facing plus those situations among all of you unknown to me, that your 'healing basket' would overflow!

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Recovering Power of Love!


All the research is very clear on this point--those people who have deep connections to family and friends in their lives live longer and do better under any kind of physical assault to their health. Whether studying recovery from serious injuries, surgeries of all types, heart attacks...you name it, every study I've read differentiates outcomes based on these connections.

So it's not surprising that I'm doing so well. Simply the 1,000 hits per month to this blog are a testament to all of you who continue to support my recovery process!


I did get a hyper-bolus of love this weekend though...from Parker and Finley as they celebrated their 2nd birthday. I will never forget both of them running to me with arms outstretched for a hug as we arrived on Saturday morning. And the pure joy in their faces as they each took their turns riding the pony who had arrived to delight all the little kiddo's at the party. Grandchildren are simply the best recovery drug ever!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Big Goal Accomplished!


Yesterday was another big day. Ted and I biked to the State Fair, walked all over and biked back, with a group of neighbors yesterday. Yes, it was 90+ degrees outside too! We all got our desired 'fair food' items, viewed the horses, sheep and pigs, the 4-H winners and walked everywhere in vain trying to find the 'giant zucchini'!

And yes, being the kids we are, we rode the Ferris Wheel and had a blast with the bumper cars!

Another recovery goal accomplished!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Happy Birthday to our Twins!


Today is a great day! Our twins, Parker & Finley turn 2 today! Here are pic's of them playing in the new play tent we sent them. It was so fun this morning to talk to them this morning, if only by phone to wish them a happy day and to get "Pops-Pops-Pops" from Parker and "Hi-Ya" from Fin. It's hard to believe that they're two as I remember their births like it was yesterday. My oh my, how life has changed in two years for Brian & Brooke.
  • Finishing med school and feeding twins every 2-3 hours!
  • Moving to St. Louis, buying a house and doing all that with 2-9 mo olds
  • The endless house projects and starting Bri's interim year and child proofing the house as Parker and Fin were mobile early
  • Finishing his interim year and starting his anesthesia residency and preparing for baby #3 to arrive!
Brian & Brooke prove that the "life events scale" is bogus as they have sailed through it all with complete grace and style! So even though it's Parker & Fin's big day, I think I'll hug Brian and Brooke lots today for the beautiful job they've done as partners and as parents! They show up in a few hours from STLouis for a family wedding, so the official BD party is next weekend so that MiMi and Pops can attend!

Friday, August 14, 2009

What Summer is All About!

Last night was so great. Ted and I walked out to our condo's courtyard last night about 7pm with our dog Wrigley and our grand-dog Indy. Before too long, Allie brought her dog Riley out to play. Then out came Tom and Roxanne, Mark & Teresa, Matt & Cindy, Ann, then our new neighbors Karen & Kirk. Mark & Teresa had just received their credit-card points gift which was a margherita machine. So we all convinced them that we needed to try it out...so needless to say...a lovely summer evening party just happened! The doggies romped and romped, refreshed by handouts of leftover ice to cool them down.

This is what I envy about the European lifestyle. People live close together and when evening comes, they congregate in the piazza to laugh, to eat well, to drink wine, but most importantly, to enjoy those evening summer breezes and cooler temps together! So get outside and enjoy what's left of this great summer!

P.S. I think we'll give the doggies their baths outside tonight and let them play in the sprinkler!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Home Group

Ted and I are so blessed. In 1986, we were deeply involved in starting a non-denominational church in Center Grove, the suburb where we raised our 3 sons. At the center of the church founders' hearts was the desire to create smaller Home Groups within the church body for the purpose of providing those involved a deeper connection to a community of believers who could pray, love and care for each other as life brought it's inevitable joys and trials.

So Ted and I have been with our Home Group for well over 15 years now. We remain together despite the fact that several of us have moved away and now attend other churches. Pictured here are some of my Home Group lady friends at a July gathering at our condo in 2004 (And yes, you're welcome Coleen, Julie, Marilyn, Fran and Midge for posting 'younger' pictures!). We gathered this past Friday evening at the Casper's, as we do each month for a time of prayer, devotions and lots of fun conversation. Coleen led our devotion which she said was "for her", but it was indeed for us all. All our Bible readings and discussion surrounded the topic of 'being thankful in the desert'. You know, those many times in life, when we are really struggling with something that deeply pains us or makes us so fearful that we think we can't make it through another day! Across these ten couples, just about everything has happened to at least one of us that could happen in life. And indeed, several of our Home Group couples are in tough situations right now. It is so wonderful that we have these times together where we can pray collectively and remember that God is so faithful to bring goodness out of tough times if we only 'cry out to Him' for guidance and strength. We know that He has brought us all through these times before and He will love us and teach us important character-building lessons through our current trials once again.

This group of friends is so precious to Ted and me. How amazing it is, to live life with people who have been such long-time Christian friends. We have shared so much with this group of people...bonded together by our collective faith and love for God and for each other!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Another Mini-Graduation!

It sounds silly I know, but it was so great yesterday to finish my 6th Zometa IV infusion which signals my 'graduation' to the every 3 month routine. What does that mean? It means that I will now receive Zometa every 3 months for an additional 30 months which means I finally finish in May 2012, just about 3 months after Indy hosts the Super Bowl.

If you remember, I'm in this national clinical trial whose purpose is to see if giving women with agressive breast cancer an osteoporosis-preventing drug will lower the rate at which the cancer could metastisize to bone. The idea is that if these drugs make your bones stronger and more dense, they will be less hospitable places for cancer cells to multiply. The additional benefit of course, is a lowered chance for osteoporosis which causes spine changes and greater risk for hip and other fractures as we ladies grow older, so I like that too!

So I now have no doctor appointments until late October (to see my surgeon for routine check) and early November for the next Zometa treatment...YEAH! Maybe all the IV stick bruises on my right arm will finally have the chance to really heal!

Monday, August 3, 2009

The Best News!

We awoke Sunday morning to the phone ringing...we had eagerly anticipated this call and it was just as expected...our #2 son, Joel and his love, Jo called from Bali to say that they are engaged!

Jo is such a perfect fit for our son Joel, as he is for her, but she is also a perfect fit with our family. They met in January 2008 and we had our first chance to meet her when Ted, Kyle and I went to San Fran in April of 2008. Then, Joel brought her to Indy for the 500. It was her first visit to the Midwest and needless to say, she was drinking from a fire hose that weekend on all our race weekend traditions, but handled the immersion into our Hoosier ways quite well.

We will never forget meeting her family for Thanksgiving in New York City.
They were all so gracious and kind to mix their wonderful traditions with ours that day. Jo's parents, Chia-Chia and David were both born in Taiwan, but didn't meet until they were both grad students at Berkeley. They subsequently married and raised Jo and her sister Shiao in San Francisco. This picture is of Jo, Chia-Chia and me at Thanksgiving last year.
Chia-Chia made the best poached fish I have ever eaten along with homemade wontons and vegie's that were perfectly cooked. We can't wait to visit Jo's parents again in October. David has been an incredible scientist and prolific patent-producer at Novartis, while Chia-Chia has earned national honors for her social work efforts in San Francisco, so needless to say, Jo comes by her intelligence and sweetness honestly from her amazing parents.

Jo was subsequently swept into crisis mode with us as we all gathered for Christmas and learned of my cancer diagnosis. Being a Harvard-trained physician followed by a 3 year Fellow in breast oncology at UCSF, she managed the delicate balance of providing us all with expert guidance while still maintaining her role as family supporter with tremendous grace! Needless to say, there was a lot of family bonding with her during this time...she helped us all so much.

So for knowing her such a short time, we all agree...she's a perfect fit for the Meek family. No specific wedding plans yet since Jo is starting her academic physician role at UCSF on September 1st, but likely the wedding will be late spring or early summer of 2010.

We welcome the Chien family into our own with tremendous joy and thanksgiving!

Friday, July 31, 2009

Vacation Rush Meets Post-Treatment Recovery!

Ted and I arrived home from our vacation Monday night. I promptly collapsed on Tuesday afternoon. We just could not figure it out. I had a low-grade fever, but mostly I just could not stay up for more than a few hours without wanting to take another nap! I slept and slept and slept. Finally, Ted made me make an appointment with my doctor for today as I just was not making any progress. But thankfully, I woke up this morning feeling good again! Thank heavens--just had a bad case of 'too much vacation'!

I'm reminded once again that my brain moves at lightening speed and my body is still saying 'hold on a minute--I've just been through a rough time'! It slaps me back into reality now and then.

Also--for those of you who have requested, I've added a new section to the right that details each of the topics I'm learning on my 12-week exercise and nutrition journey. Obviously, I canceled this week's appointment due to my state of post-vaca fatigue, but I've posted the ones I've received so far and will do a new post each Tuesday starting next week. I highly recommend Exercise, Inc., which has 2 locations in Indy, as the source for the 12 habit recommendations, as well as for their strength training program. I'll let you know when I'm ready to take you all on in an arm-wrestling contest!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What I Did on My Summer Vacation!

I'm reminded by all the back-to-school ads, that typically the first English assignment upon the return to school, was to write an essay about what had transpired over the summer. Well, Ted and I just returned last night from a wonderful two weeks of fun, so here's my essay (maybe students just blog or tweet vs. essay now?). First, I went with my college roomies on our annual retreat (no husbands permitted). We always go to Munch's house and after a trip to the store, typically don our swimsuits and never venture out again until we all must face reality and drive home! Here is a picture of those of us who could make it this year...it truly is a treasure to have friends who have known you through every phase of life and love you anyway!


On the way back, it turned out that Kyle was filming at Notre Dame, so I picked him up and we had a surprise great night with Kyle and his friends at our place amidst unpacking, laundry and repacking to leave again!

We dropped Kyle at the airport on Monday and headed for Gettysburg for quite a memorable tour. If you haven't been, you must go as the National Park Service has built a new Visitor Center where you see an introductory film, then get a guided tour of the entire three day battle, then return to a wonderfully well done museum. We dined at the famous Farnsworth House, which at one time, housed Confederate soldiers. Being the Yankees we are, we enjoyed never-before-tasted spoon pudding and the Southern version of duck/chicken/pheasant pot pie.

Next, we headed for Baltimore Wed-Fri morning, where I gave a speech at a nursing informatics conference. Ted had not seen Baltimore, so we did the typical harbor and crabcakes thing.

We left Friday and did a quick drive-by visit with some favorite colleagues of mine, who kindly met us near I-95 for a delightful lunch. We learned what "going to the shore" means in terms of Friday afternoon traffic near Philly and then rush hour in Brooklyn, but we landed safely at Kyle's place, just in time to have a great dinner at the much-acclaimed restaurant called "The Grocery". Small, local foodies and a quaint outdoor patio with a perfect summer night and of course KYLE, made it a memorable meal. Saturday, we took in brunch, West Side Story on Broadway and a wonderful meal again! You know that 5 pounds I lost...gotta lose it again!



But the capper was Sunday morning, when Kyle used his contacts to get us on the set of CBS Sunday Morning...our very favorite show! ALL the staff were so gracious...even the host for the day, Jeff Glor, who couldn't have been nicer to us! We were literally the only non-staffers on the set, then up in the control room...so it was quite an experience. We topped off the day with a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and great Italian dining in Brooklyn...you can't beat that!

So now home catching up with all that naturally continues even when we're away. It was a summer vacation to remember indeed!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Healthy as a Horse!


Well, I had my first mammogram today and all is well! I had a couple of 'suspicious spots' but one was the normal pocket of fluid that forms when you take a tumor out of a body...the body has a way of filling that spot with something. The other was just knarly fat lobules which happen because the radiation causes all kinds of changes in your breast tissue.

So the news was great today!

I was amazed at my experience, as I shared some conversation with 2 women in the waiting room. One had been post-treatment for a little over a year and the other for six years. What amazed me was that they were BOTH equally nervous. I guess that's part of the 'new normal' they talk about. As for me, I wasn't really worried. I guess because I've chosen not to be worried because it really doesn't do any good. If you worry and the cancer never comes back, then you've wasted all that time. If you worry and the cancer does come back, it still doesn't change the outcome--you just deal with it at that point. So what's the point of worrying?

I know I'm weird in that way, but I'd rather laugh it up and be carefree then spend my days worrying!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

First Check-up

Wow, so sorry for the long pauses in between postings. It's nothing other than life back at its full pace for me. I've been teaching, grading papers, helping students and having really jam packed weekends of fun! This past weekend was filled with dinner with my co-teaching professor and her husband, then Game Night with neighbors, then throwing a bridal shower for Emmalee Frey here at our house on Sunday. So the celebration is that I feel good enough to do all of that again!

I have my first official check-up tomorrow, so pray that all goes well with my first mammogram post-treatment. I'll do a quick post to let you all know how it goes!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Great News for Keeping Body Parts!


Yesterday was a great day...Teddy's BD (thanks to all of you who touched him with greetings yesterday!), my 5th Zometa treatment went off with only 2 sticks this time vs. 4 the prior times and we got the results of my genetic testing for BRCA-1 & 2. The test was NEGATIVE...YEAH for keeping my body parts intact for now!

For those of you scratching your heads at this news, here's a short primer. Only about 5-8% of women with breast cancer test positive for these gene mutations, but when they do...it usually means the woman needs to seriously consider a double mastectomy and potentially even having their ovaries removed. In addition, their male/female sib's need to be tested next and based on those individual results, potentially have to make tough decisions for themselves, plus have their progeny tested. So a positive result gets to be a family thing pretty fast and with the size of my Lukens family, that could have had major implications for lots of people.

So we are in the next 10-15% category, which is the 'familial predisposition to cancer' category. What that means is that our family tree has sufficient amounts of cancer in prior and current generations (3 of the 6 of us sib's had/have cancer), that we all just need to be extra diligent about our screening exams. This means starting those screenings earlier and having them a bit more often, so I've notified all my family members about these guidelines.

So for now, the need for additional protective surgical procedures has been cancelled and we can all get on with getting back to some sense of normalcy with our collective lives and 'parts' intact!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

A Special Day


Today is Ted's birthday...a very special day in my life! He's literally spending his whole day with me today, first with my Zometa treatment (I'm writing while being 'infused') and then we go to receive the results of genetic testing. What a way to spend your birthday!

Happy Birthday to my soul mate, my best friend and my love forever!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Life Must be Getting Back to Normal

I can't believe it's been ten days since my last post. But I guess it's good in a way, because the reason I haven't posted is that I've been running by b__ off! Teaching has been really busy the last ten days and we had the pleasure of co-hosting a bridal shower for our dear friend's son and daughter-in-law to be up north of South Bend all last weekend.

We estimate that among about 8 of us setting up for this shower, that we hauled about 2,000 pounds of stuff out to a marvelous tent rented for the occasion, cooked all the food, decorated lavishly, hosted the shower for about 45-50 people, then hauled all the stuff back inside in about a 14 hour period. Ted was amazed that I did it and I guess, so was I! It was so gratifying to lie in bed last Saturday night and realize that for the first time...in a long time...I could actually do something that I used to do all the time! So it feels like a great sign of recovery.

No other big news from our neck of the woods. This week has been all about preparing for class, grading assignments, talking with students, doing about ten hours of consulting work and most importantly, enjoying the evenings in our courtyard when it finally cools down at night!

We're off to St. Louis tomorrow morning to see Brian, Brooke and our twins, so we couldn't be more excited! I promise to post some good pictures of Fin and Parker next week when we return!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Wicked Good!


Have you ever been entertained so wonderfully that you literally jumped up to give your "standing O" at the last note? That is exactly what happened to us last Friday night as we finished seeing the play Wicked for the fourth time with our dear friends, the Frey's. The entire crowd leaped to their feet at the end with roars and thunderous applause. This is a play that is so clever, so well staged, so well costumed...it's well...a must see!

We heard there's the possibility that they will extend the Indy tour for two weeks, so if you haven't yet seen this play...get on it! The published last day as of now is June 21st.

Friday, June 12, 2009

The importance of nurse researchers!


I had an interesting Thursday evening. The Dean of IU's School of Nursing invited all graduate faculty and doctoral students to dinner at her lovely condo clubhouse in Broad Ripple. While there, I had the chance to meet fellow faculty members that I don't know well yet. Several of them sought me out as they could tell from the newly-emerging hair growth, that I'm in early recovery from cancer treatment. All in all, I met three nurse researchers who are investigating helpful interventions for three of the most long-lasting of post-treatment effects...hot flashes, so called "chemo-brain" (named for the cognitive process lapses that occur) and fatigue.

This is such important work and I feel so fortunate that I'm in a place where I can come to know and support these smart people! I'm signed up for the hot flashes study and hopefully, won't qualify for the other two! The lady pictured is Dr. Janet Carpenter who is principal investigator for the hot flash intervention study.

I started a new 'recovery log' of my goals on the right panel, so watch to celebrate with me as each goal is met!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dem Supposes

I've had a busy week, so was catching up on my daily devotions this morning and just have to share a phrase that I love! The story is about a beautiful African American woman who had such a sweet, calm spirit in the midst of a lot of potential circumstances that could have left her in a precarious position in terms of health & finances. Her friend Nancy was listing all the possible hazards, when the woman said "Stop! I never supposes....it's all 'dem supposes' as is makin' you so mis'able. You'd better give dem all up and just trust de Lord."

I also just read a devotion written by my dear friend Mike Akers that was surprisingly on the exact same topic (Ya think God is tellin' me something today?). I love this quote too.

"When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened." -- Winston Churchill

I'm such a forward-thinker and planner and organizer, that my head is always full of 'dem supposes'. I so admire people who have the wonderful ability to stay in the 'now'. So this is going to be a remembered phrase for me...give up 'dem supposes'!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Always Learning!

One of the things that has amazed me about my cancer journey is that each phase represents a whole new boat-load of stuff to know. There's the medical stuff, but then there's also the invaluable every-day, how-to-get-through-it tips that are really important to know.

I went in for my post-radiation appointment with my oncologist yesterday, followed by my 4th Zometa treatment. I was seen instead by a lovely, proficient nurse practitioner, who did a very nice job of talking with me, examining me, and preparing me for the start of Arimidex, which I started this morning. I was only disappointed not seeing Dr. Miller because you form a bond with someone at the time of diagnosis and it would have been nice to have celebrated the end of phases 1,2 and 3 with her yesterday. But I also understand that her focus needs to be on the brand new lot of folks facing all the decisions of the early-diagnosis phase, so her time is needed even more there. I get that.

So here's what I learned this week...
  • My dear friend, Brenda Rittenhouse called to check up on me and asked if I knew about the 'popcorn icebag' trick. I've never heard of this and man oh man, is it a good idea. You get ziplock snack bags and fill them with a layer of popcorn and stick them in the freezer. These bags are so 'moldable' to any part of your body and are small enough to stick in and be held by your clothing, so you can ice down without holding still. Each bag lasts about 15 minutes which is the recommended time to ice. The popcorn also doesn't get mushy like a bag of peas, so you can keep re-using them. LOVE IT...thanks so much Brenda!
  • My other learning is that every time I see a health professional, I need to ask the question..."Do I know everything I need to know about how to handle this treatment?" or "Is there anything that can be done to lessen the side effects of this treatment? This is so important because guess what? I asked that question yesterday about the 3-5 days of flu-like effects from Zometa and the nurse said..."Oh, we can take care of that. We'll just give you Decadron and Toradol IV before we give you the Zometa and you won't experience those effects". WHAT? Where was this advice the first 3 times? So I have no fever today, no achiness...only the pre-Zometa level of fatigue and burn healing effects. Praise the Lord for that!! So my advice...be sure you always ask lots of questions and take someone with you to remind you to ask lots of questions. The folks seeing us are busy, are thinking about all they have to do that day, have lives outside of work they may be worrying about...and like us, just don't always remember to tell us stuff that would really help us. Not intentionally...just being human beings!
  • I'm amazed at the level of emotional support I still need. Many, many of you have sent me emails and/or called or left blog posts, visited or sent cards the past couple of weeks and I'm amazed that you're not just TIRED of it all! It's a lot to support someone over an extended period of time. I've been so guilty of doing something nice for someone in need and then just checking that 'to-do' off my list mentally. I'm now experiencing what's it's like to NOT have been checked-off other people's lists and it's really humbling and reminds me to work on that in my own life from now on. Teddy-bless his sweet heart--deserves the ultimate prize. Yesterday he took me out for a great lunch then stayed with me through my appointment and treatment. Thanks so much Teddy!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Hair!


For some of you, seeing my fuzzy little head and big schnoz will be more than you wanted to see! But for others, seeing this picture of my soft duck fuzz will cause rejoicing! Yes, it's true...I have de-scarfed for good! It happened during the Indy 500 race. I had carefully planned my outfit to match a beautiful cotton scarf that my sweet neighbor Emine had so carefully hemmed for me. But as I sat there in the full sun, I suddenly realized that if I didn't let some heat escape from my head, I was going to have a heat stroke for sure! So off came the scarf!

The immediate reaction from family and friends was that they couldn't believe I was still covering my head and that my duck fuzz looked just fine! So I'm now free! With the summer heat now in full gear, my hair is coming back just in time!

I ask for special prayers for the next five days. My burned and blistered skin is gradually improving but still fairly painful. My energy level has really been low still from the cumulative and continuing effects of the radiation, so I'm not looking forward to my IV-Zometa treatment tomorrow, which will cause another 3-5 days of low-grade fever and flu-like aches. If you remember, I'm in this national clinical trial, testing whether Zometa (originally developed to treat osteoporosis) lessens the chance that the cancer will come back in my bones. I have monthly treatments...so tomorrow is my June infusion, then also in July and August. After that, I will receive IV-Zometa every 3 months for another 30 months! I also see my oncologist tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll hear more about when I start on the oral drug, Arimidex, which I'll take for 5 years.

I'm just so anxious to feel good again! I know...patience, patience!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Untold Signs of Treatment & Hints of Progress!


I really appreciate all that my doctors and nurses have told me along this journey...but there are some surprising things they don't think to tell you.

One is that you lose the hair in your nose! Now for those of you who dream of not having to fight these nasty little hairs that like to creep outside their nasal boundaries, I'm here to tell you that nose hair plays a vital role. First, nose hair protects inhalation of nasty airborne pathogens. But it also plays a very practical role and it wasn't until I lost all my nasal hair that I wanted it back...as every time my nose produced it's normal moisture, it just ran right out of my nose instead of being held on my nasal membranes by those short, but mighty little helpers. So I found myself needing to "dab" at my nose all day long which was really irritating! So imagine my joy this morning as I applied my make-up to find that the little guys are returning. It sounds silly, but I was so happy to see those little helpers come back!

Another thing they don't tell you is that many people, including me, get what they call "chemo rings" on their nails. If you look closely at my fingernails on the picture, you will see that I now have something in common with trees! I have two rings showing, but two more await below what is visible (you get one ring per chemo treatment). So seeing these rings move closer and closer to the white part of my nail and filing them away over time will feel good too.

Isn't it crazy what signs you long for to mark your progress towards life without cancer? Isn't it also amazing to witness what cancer treatment does to every cell in your body? It gives me pause to realize that I need to acknowledge the work that my good body is doing to overcome not only the cancer, but also the associated effects from the treatments.

We are indeed wonderfully made and I praise God above for all that is known and unknown about the way our bodies fight these types of massive assaults...it is indeed something awe- inspiring to witness and to experience day to day. So in my greater-than-normal sense of fatigue today, I pause to recognize that my body is doing some mighty work and I need to cooperate by taking the demands on myself down a notch or two! Remind me to do that the next time you see me OK?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Today is the BIG DAY!



It's finally here! My last day of radiation! The last day of phases 1 (surgery), 2 (chemo) and 3 (radiation) of my five phase treatment (4-Zometa for another 33 months and 5-Arimidex for 5 years). But it somehow feels like I've crossed the finish line--taken the checkered flag--had a drink of the milk of healing! I'm so very ready to get my life back to normal...even if it is a "new normal" that still contains some additional treatment and of course, those twice yearly check-ups.

We're celebrating today in fine style. First, we're going to lunch with Jodi and Ed Schaffer...dear friends of ours that we both worked with in the ER some 35+years ago! Then Teddy is taking me to R Bistro which is my favorite restaurant for dinner. So actually, it's going to be a full party day!

I'm filled with gratitude for all the hundreds of ways you've all touched Ted and me and our extended nuclear family with support over the last six months. You've all made such a difference in this tough journey...turning it into a ride we could handle despite the bumps along the way! Thank you all so very much!

I'm going to keep writing the blog for a little while longer because as they say...the healing continues. For me, the healing won't be complete until my energy is back, the skin on my chest is healed, I need a hair cut, I'm back in shape, Teddy feels like "I'm back" and I've completed my first check-up! So until then, I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Report Card!


Several of you have written me in the last few days asking me how I'm doing, so here goes! For starters, I have a chest you could fry an egg on! (I started to write 'a really hot chest', but knew where that would go!) It's really burned, but thankfully my skin is still intact, so according to those who guide the radiation rays my way each day, I'm doing good. I have special stuff to apply multiple times daily and have found it most helpful to fall asleep at night with an ice bag on my chest...a new cure for both my skin and those ever present hot flashes!

I'm also pretty fatigued, not enough to really slow me down much...but just enough to take a bit more mental fortitude to get up and do what I need to do each day.

The best part though is that I have just 3 treatments left...YEAH! I go tomorrow, then Tues/Wed next week and I'm officially done with radiation on the 27th! It will be great not only to start the upward trend towards healing, but also that I won't have to organize my day around this daily treatment schedule.

I wish I could say that I'm off to my first week of NO doctor appointments, but alas, not so. I have Zometa IV again on June 3rd (which is followed by 3-5 days of flu-like symptoms) and an appointment with a genetic counselor (to determine if I need genetic testing to inform family members) on June 8th.

So it looks like my first full week without ANY doc appointments will be the week of June 15th! Praise God above...really looking forward to it!

Most of all, I just continue to feel so blessed. Literally every single person that I've come in contact with at the hospital as I go for my daily treatment, is in a far worse situation. So once again, no whining is coming from this mouth...only thankfulness and anticipation of the joy of returning to a far greater sense of wellness!

Monday, May 18, 2009

For Better For Worse


Today is Ted's and my 35th anniversary! We remarked to each other that in one way, the time has passed so quickly, yet when we stop to consider all that has happened to us across those 35 years, it feels more like 50!

So today, I want to honor my hubby! There is no luckier woman on the face of the earth than me! There is no better soul mate for me than Ted. In all the many, many ways that really matter over a lifetime together, he has always, always been there for me...and for our family.

Tonight, we'll attend a wine tasting dinner together. We'll remember the many challenges we've faced together. But mostly we'll remember all the blessings of our marriage...our love, our wonderful kids and now our growing nuclear family, our many good times with friends and family and all the lives that are now intermingled with ours in that journey. A wonderful life...a blessed life!

Here's to my Teddy...I will love you forever and always!